770 HP, 74 MPG, Looks That Can Kill

Illustration for article titled 770 HP, 74 MPG, Looks That Can Kill

Releasing these new photos of the Porsche 918 Spyder, the company has announced some exciting development news: with the aid of its electric motors, the plug-in hybrid prototype is currently developing 770 HP and returning up to 74 MPG. Also, ummm...I messed my pants.

A possible return to greatness for the once-innovative and most German of all supercar manufacturers, the 918 Spyder is neither a facelifted 911 nor an SUV. Instead, it very much looks like the future of the performance automobile. Massive performance is combined with lightweight materials, low emissions and the kind of fuel economy that'd make the average Prius driver convulse in envy.

Allegedly, the car in these photos is wearing "camouflage," but calling this 917-inspired paint scheme "camo" is like saying Demi Moore is wearing "clothes" in this famous Vanity Fair cover. Does anyone have any Kleenex?


Not only will corduroy-wearing Berkeley professors be able to plug the 918 into their wind generators, but enthusiasts will appreciate a sea change in automotive thinking. Instead of making the 918 as absolutely heavy as possible, Porsche has instead employed a plastic-reinforced carbon fiber monocoque chassis, active aerodynamics and even upward venting exhaust pipes, all in the name of actual performance. Hooray 918 Spyder.

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74MPG? Dear Porsche,

You have the technology to build a marvel of engineering. Great.

Now STOP LYING TO US. We're not idiots, and we can see that you're 74mpg is FALSE. Porche, you are full of UNSCRUPULOUS LIARS just like Ferrari.

A diesel engine would have been a much better solution if you wanted performance and economy, but that would require HONESTY, which you lack, and a FUNDAMENTAL UNDERSTANDING OF ENERGY SYSTEMS. (Ask a 23-year old Engineer, he'll know better) It seems like the top guys at Porsche are 9 parts CEO and 1 part wanna-be engineer.

Which plastic did you use to reinforce the monocoque? Are you guys even aware of the difference between a thermoset and a thermoplastic?