Normally, I let Zac handle our "Used Car Face Off" weekend coverage, because he does an awesome job finding interesting pre-owned cars and asking you which you'd rather drive.
But I received tips on two — TWO! — Mazda Miatas that were so obscenely strange, I couldn't help but tell you about them. Consider this "Used Car Face Off: Absurdity Edition."
First up, we've got a a 1990 Miata I've taken to calling "Winky" because of the creepy teeth, eyes and eyelashes some amazing bastard has plastered all over it. It kind of reminds me of the live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies I grew up with, except much creepier.
Anyway, Winky swaps its default Mazda four-banger for a 4.3-liter Chevy V6. Zoom zoom indeed! Yours now for a mere $7,500.
The next entry comes to us from the 36 Chambers of Shaolin, and it's a Wu-Tang Clan-themed Miata. (Why the hell didn't I think of that?) Mods include dented fenders, Wu stickers, "springs cut with Shaolin steel," and it was "recently blessed." It also comes with the single greatest description of any used car I've ever seen:
I aint gonna front shits real bouncy son, best part is it bangs but it aint dickridin nobody else style namsayin. But check it shit looks like Ish from WCC got the interior on. Runs like Tunechi when he see a dick swingin near. Drop $1800 gotta update the kitchen. May trade for a motherfuckin Ruckus.
Asking price is only $1,800, a tiny amount when you consider that the car ain't nothin' to fuck with.
So tell us, Jalops — which of these Miatatrocities would you rather buy? I'm leaning towards the WuMissle myself, because it's got pink shit inside. And that's pretty sweet.
Thanks for the tips Kiwi Commander and Benjamin Preston!