Current economic conditions may not be optimal, but that doesn't mean you'd have to completely give up life's luxuries, or as today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Geo Metro proves, LeMons racing. Still, is this little limo really priced to do even one lap of luxury?

Have you ever noticed that Elvis impersonators never look quite right- the pompador, tassel-weighted leather suits, and affected sneer notwithstanding, it's just not the same. Much was the case with yesterday's 2000 Boxster turned Gambella Carrera GT, which also came with a price that was deemed to be off, and was reflected in its 91% Crack Pipe loss. For shame Florida, for shame.

The FIA has set a non-compulsory annual budget for Formula One teams of £40m, exclusive of driver compensation. At the extreme other end of the racing budget scale is Jay Lamm's 24 Hours of LeMons which sets a limit of $500 American for entrant purchase price, engendering a much more eclectic mix of participants and capability. Today's contender comes close enough to that threshold to be worth consideration as a LeMons racer, plus who wouldn't want to attack the track at day, and the prom at night?


That's possible with this 1992 Geo Metro because it's been converted into a limo, with an added. . . oh, I don't know whole other Geo Metro between its wheels. This would make for the perfect endurance racer because you could bring the entire team along for the drive, doing driver changes on the fly and bringing back the classic position of riding mechanic. And seriously, that's something a lot of LeMons teams could use. Plus, just consider the number of clowns one could fit in there.

Reading the ad for this Metro - and how could you not after the seller explicitly demands it - is like experiencing Greek tragedy. His description of the car borders on the bizarre, blaming its tailpipe smoking like an extra on Mad Men on his use of cheap oil? How cheap? Is he buying it from a guy who claims it fell off a truck? Is it actually extra-slutty olive oil? There's plenty of other issues too mostly revolving around the 998-cc 55-horse three cylinder and five-speed stick. Despite its apparent battered and bruised state, he does claim it's still capable of shuttling 8 at a time.

That capacity makes this possibly the mini-est of minivans, equatable to the Kei-vans fondly remembered in J-town. This Metro happens to be in the Motor City, a metro region not conducive to business growth, but still ripe for that of rust. Despite the locale, the seller says this modded Metro has miraculously escaped Swiss Cheese-ification. The paint scheme, on the other hand, does look a little cheesy.


On The Simpsons, Ned Flanders had trouble out-running a pursuing Homer despite the entreaties of his wife to step on it because, in his words, I can't, it's a GEO! That may not bode well for this little limo's LeMons victory chances, but it could vie for the illustrious Index of Effluency award, given to the car that most beats the odds at being the most beat.


So what do you think, is $550 worth it to be able to request a dollop of Grey Poupon from your LeMons competition? Does the idea of participating in LeMons as a chauffeured passenger hold appeal? Or, is this modified Metro too far gone to Limo LeMons?

You decide!


Detroit Craigslist or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to Invader Zim for the hookup!

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