It's time to get revenge on all the boring history classes you sat through and start messing with the people of the past. Here are ten cars Jalopnik readers picked to exploit and terrify the great men and women of history.
Welcome back to Answers of the Day — our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
Photo Credit: Dodge
10.) Hummer H1
Suggested By: F50F60
Where: Middle America
When: The 1950s
Why: While everyone is dreaming of a bright nuclear future filled with driverless cars whizzing down the highway as laden with chrome and tailfins as ever, you come in and shatter that vision.
Tell the people of postwar America that all anyone drives in 2011 are hulking ex-military vehicles. You get to trick the world into thinking the future is an apocalyptic hellhole. Feel free to blame the Russians / a young Ralph Nader / magnets.
Photo Credit: Hummer
9.) Pontiac Aztek
Suggested By: uredrellande
Where: Detroit
When:1971
Why: In 1971, GM introduced the Pontiac Ventura, a perfect clone of the popular Chevy Nova. It was the beginning of Pontiac's decline into a badge-engineered wasteland.
After you're done scaring children with its front end, show an Aztek to Pontiac design studios. Let it serve as a warning for where they're going.
Photo Credit: Antonio Edward
8.) Bugatti Veyron
Suggested By: Shane Elliot
Where: The German Autobahn
When: The 1930s
Why: Nazi Germany is about as far back in time as you can go if you want to stretch the legs of the world's most super supercar. You could go to the AVUS track, just outside of Berlin and out-race the Auto Unions and supercharged Benzes.
When you're done you could go pick up one of your relatives hiding in somebody's basement and GTFO. But you only get to save one. That's what you get for bringing a two-seater.
Photo Credit: Otis Blank
7.) Lamborghini Aventador
Suggested By: Kiwi_Commander
Where: Italy
When: The late 1940s.
Why: Have fun explaining an Aventador to a people who are just getting over Mussolini and a second World War. Oh, this thing? Yeah some guy who makes tractors built it.
Photo Credit: Otis Blank
6.) Audi R18
Suggested By: rawtoast
Where: Le Mans
When: 1955
Why: Not only do you get to pretend to be an invading space-being, with a full race suit and a whooshing turbodiesel drivetrain at your disposal, but you also get to bump Pierre Levegh and Lance Macklin out of the way of Mike Hawthorn's decelerating D-Type Jag, preventing the most horrific racing accident of all time.
Photo Credit: AudiUSA
5.) Subaru STi
Suggested By: LastActionZero
Where: The American South
When: The Prohibition Era
Why: You own the fastest possible car for America's winding, poorly surfaced, pre-interstate roadway. If you want to play the good guy, you could become the fastest lawman in the country, freaking out moonshiners with bonkers speed.
If you want to make some money, drink some hooch, and be the baddest shine-runner of all time, you could do well with welding an extra tank in your trunk for all that sweet, sweet, illegal whiskey.
Photo Credit: David Villarreal Fernandez
4.) Toyota Camry V6
Suggested By: Ash Jong-Un
Where: Woodward Avenue, Detroit
When: Just about any time in the 1960s.
Why: It's time to go out-race a bunch of he-man macho drag racers with a four-door sedan from Japan. It's like trolling a muscle car forum, but in real life.
Photo Credit: Toyota
3.) Dakar Touareg
Suggested By: Ding dong, the Spieg Jong-Il is dead
Where: The American Frontier
When: The late 1800s.
Why: In no-paved-roads America, you now own the fastest point-to-point vehicle in the world. Have fun.
Photo Credit: Volkswagen Belgium
2.) Lexus LFA
Suggested By: WantToHoon
Where: Japan
When: The late 1940s.
Why: As if its exhaust note wouldn't be enough to freak the shit out of people, the idea that Japan would pick itself up to build a howling supercar made out of woven carbon fiber would be absolutely mind blowing. Speed racer's Mach 5 would probably end up looking a lot more like an LFA.
Photo Credit: Lexus UK
1.) Rinspeed Splash
Suggested By: POLAR
Where: Rome
When: Before they started burning people as heretics all the time. Maybe a few hundred A.D.
Why: The religious implications of a car that can drive over water mean that you could have a lot of power if you played your cards right. Just remember to stock up on fuel so the fun doesn't run out.
Photo Credit: Rinspeed