This Chicago-based refugee from an 80s hair band will rent you his services as a chauffeur in his gold-embellished Ferrari F360 for $300 an hour. Or even his Cadillac Eldorado at $250 an hour. We dub thee — Ferrari Guy.

We don't even really know how to properly address this. The super-classy gold treatment inside and out means we have to mock it, the over-the-hill proprietor with no shirt, fake jamming on his guitar should be mocked, the eye-popping pricing on a ride should be mocked, the assertion a 2002 Cadillac Eldorado is even remotely as cool as a Ferrari should be mocked... and yet, it's somehow wrapped the needle of ridiculous all the way around the dial and ended up as awesome. If you live in Chicago and have a disposable couple hundred bucks, by all means, hire this guy and then take pictures and tell us what it's like. If your story doesn't include doing blow off a forty year old hooker's chest we won't believe it. [Ferrari Guy For Hire]