Commenter Of The Day: Tobias Fünke Edition

Played to perfection by David Cross, Dr. Tobias Fünke is the possibly "buy curious" patriarch of the tragically misguided Fünke clan, which includes his wife Lindsay Bluth and daughter Maeby Fünke on the hilarious and therefore canceled Fox sitcom Arrested Development. Despite having a once successful career as an analyst and a therapist (don't combine the two words), he decides to pursue his life's dream of acting and eventually lands a gig as a backup for The Blue Man Group. He's also a self-diagnosed "never nude" which sounds exactly like what it sounds. Instead of going nude he always wears a pair of denim shorts cut way too low. He also has a striking likeness to Dr. Z, though he's probably got more friends than Graverobber thinks Dr. Z is going to end up with.

Opel goes under
Dr Z doesn't care
His only concerns
are Mercedes and hair

As Benz models grow
So his hair does recede
And puts him in a state
of vexation indeed

Now, Opel is not Chrysler
That much it is true
But it seems that Herr Doktor
Is willing to bid them adieu

Now someday Mercedes
May be near a fall
And Z's hair will be gone
A mustache alone on a cue ball

There will be no one around
To ask for fiscal console
Because no friends has he made
This bald kraut asshole

Oh Dr. Z, you blow-hard.