These Are The Cars Readers Deemed The Most Soulless

Does a brand require more money to bother designing any sort of soul into its vehicles? Or have bean counters forced automakers to take out every bit of character, leading greyscale appliance-on-wheels econo-rides that still barely manage to be affordable. In that spirit, I asked you all last Sunday what cars are the most soulless? And boy, was there ever a pattern.

The worst offenders making these production-ready soulless machines on wheels, whether new or old, seemed to come from Toyota, Chevrolet, Stellantis, and Tesla. The specific models placed under our metaphorical guillotine were certainly some of the most affordable they offered. Egg-shapes on wheels were decidedly not very attractive, nor invigorating. It's not like drivers have asked for every car on the road to be a work of art like that of Auburns, Cords, and Duesenbergs. Is it really so hard to put just one thing into a car that would make it less of an appliance? And no, screens, no matter the size, do not help.

On that note, here are the most soulless cars according to your fellow Jalops. And don't tell me I used the same photo twice in the comments. I purposely used the two incredibly similar, near-identical images to help prove all of our points.

The Ford Taurus for sure, and most AT Fords from the 80's (Escort) and 90's were horrible soulless little boxes.

A lot of 90's vehicles were actually terrible ruination of something that used to be fun, like the Eagle. You couldn't even tell the difference between some of these cars at a distance.

And let's throw Saturn and Geo under that bus while we're at it. They all looked the same.

From Nunya Nacho

The new Mitsubishi Eclipse crossover abomination. Just look how they massacred my boy

From Alex Nicastro

Camry was the first car that felt entirely like an appliance to me. Had no steering feel, no road feel, no excitement, but was perfectly competent at everything. I dont think there is anything wrong with that for a daily driver, I currently have a soulless vw id4 as my daily and a beautiful 68 corvair as my backup.

AND

Anything with a Toyota badge.

AND

Toyota Camry. Yeah, there are TRD editions, etc, but at its heart it's nothing more than an appliance. It generates as much excitement in me as my toaster, if not less. Every Camry I've ever seen has been beige, regardless of its paint color.

From Gabriel S, Derek Collier, and Todd

You have not experienced automotive depression until you drive a Toyota Vitz.

When the biggest and one of the best car companies in the world designs a car this terrible you know they did it on purpose.

From Vanillasludge

Dodge Caliber. I drove one as a rental and it made my Corolla feel exciting in comparison. While Toyota is likely the first thing that people think of, I would argue Dodge's appliance cars fit this question better. Not only are they boring to begin with, but they are not reliable. Each time, something breaks (it will), you feel more and more of your soul siphoned away from you. At least Toyota doesn't break down, thus helping you maintain your sanity.

AND

Either a Dodge Journey or a Dodge Caliber. Envisioning what kind of sick person would purchase one of these calamities makes my skin itch

From Giantsgiants and Matt Puntney

I racked my brain to come up with the answer, and after ruling out the Chrysler K-cars, Ford Aspire, Geo/Chevy Metro, the Mitsubishi Mirage, and so many more...

I think that I've narrowed it down to our "winner".

The Jeep Patriot.

Little more than a Dodge Caliber cosplaying as a downsized XJ Cherokee, nothing about it had any amount of soul, charm, or personality.

Whether we're talking about it being a bad rip-off of a better product, the blandest interior ever conceived of, the uninspired driving dynamics, or anything else about it, it's impossible to find it's soul. Even it's platform mate, the Compass, at least had enough imagination behind it to be a mis-shaped lump of a thing, which gives it character (and therefore at least a hint of a soul).

The Patriot is appliance and marketing tool, and not even good ones, therefore proving it has no soul.

AND

Jeep Patriot. Just saw one the other day and... it's like a void on wheels.

From MustangIIMatt and DieselWagonGoon

Chevrolet Celebrity. Its a brick, its just boxy boring car.

AND

Most soulless vehicle in history- Chevy Celebrity. You most definitely did not feel like a celebrity driving one. As inspiring as a bowl of warm oatmeal. No part of that car was any stronger or better than it absolutely had to be.

From Scott The Stagehand and J-Wins

I'd say every car sold with a CVT because the manufacture was too cheap to engineer the car to be efficient and still drive nicely. That would include most Nissans and Subarus from the last (I'm guessing) 15 years. They don't drive like cars.

From David S

Allow me to suggest the Chevy Equinox. Think about it – when was the last time you thought about an Equinox? When was the last time an educated buyer you knew said "I want an Equinox"? What does the Equinox stand for? Is it sporty? Nope. Is it cool and stylish? Nope. Is it innovative? Nope. Is it reliable? Nope. Is it the best at anything? Nope. What is it? It's just a blob of a crossover that Chevy dealers can push out the door. It's the Big Mac of crossovers. Not great, not horrible, but man they move a bunch of them (this coming from a guy who is wild enough to enjoy the occasional Big Mac).

From Gordon S

Like half the cars on the road, especially crossovers. Corolla Cross, pretty much anything with Cross in its name. Nearly all Nissans except the Z now, Any Dodge that's not Challenger or Charger, the Ford Escape, Edge or whatever... CR-V, the Traxxas, Equinox, Traverse.... Just appliances....

AND

Whatever mid size crossover SUV chevy sells this week. I honestly can't think of the name. Trax?, Trek? Trailblazer? Equinox? They seem to show up, head for the bottom of the segment and are gone in two years, leaving nothing to mark their passing but a trail of recall paperwork and rental car receipts. If I was running from the mob, the FBI and ICE all at the same time, I'd rent one of these and go hide in a wall mart parking lot.

From Enrique and Dave

Any of those similarly shaped lumps from Tesla.

AND

Tesla Model 3. It has the profile of a Little Tykes Cozy Coupe and is occupied by NPCs completely unaware of the road and vehicles and pedestrians around them.

AND

Tesla 3 and Y. I honestly can't tell a 3 from a Y most of the time. They are to most boring-looking cars on the road. Not pretty, but not ugly. They all look the same, and so many of them are white. They are as common as dirt. Washers and dryers have more personality than these generic blobs. Sitting inside one is as sterile as a doctors office – not somewhere I'd want to be for any length of time. They are the black-and-white generic products they used to sell at the grocery store.

AND

Tesla Model Y, hands down. The car itself is just a bloated copy of the Model 3 (which was just a squished version of the Model X) except for the parts now borrowed from the Cucktruck. The back and high tail light bar makes me think of an old man with his pants pulled up to his nips. Interior is boring with glued on iPad and no physical controls.

Everything about it is boring derivative and getting old and tired and borrowed.

From Pernicious BM, Winter Cat, Troy Dawson, and Thomas Hajicek

Nissan Rogue, any generation. It's always following whatever styling trend is happening at the given time, will get you from place to place, but is about as exciting as a $30 coffee maker.

AND

It is a vehicle almost without qualities. It just is. Nobody is a Rogue enthusiast. It doesn't do anything particularly well. You buy it because your credit score wasn't good enough for a RAV 4 (itself not a particularly interesting car).

AND

Soulless vehicles being sold today- Ford Escape and Nissan Rogue. Rental fleet darlings which are purchased on price alone. All the character of a slice of Wonder bread. When purchased by non-rental fleets a suspect most buyers just want a good price, not a good car.

From Scoobie2, Neal Richards, and J-Wins

I just (yesterday) got back from a 2,400 mile road trip in a rental Corolla. Not only was it unattractive outside, the interior wasn't a pleasant place to be. I've never cared for Toyota's ergonomics and this didn't change my mind. The steering had no feedback and the engine had the soundtrack of an oscillating fan. When one shut the doors, it sounded like clanging two cans together. That said, it had 40,000 miles on it, which is like 60,000 on a non-rental vehicle, and it had no issue going over mountain passes on I-70. While I ended up not totally hating it, it was soulless and I would never own one

From Todd

Dodge Journey. If you pull up next to one at a light and roll down your window, you'll hear it softly sobbing to itself.

From Buddy S