2011 Honda Odyssey Promises "More Swagger"

Illustration for article titled 2011 Honda Odyssey Promises "More Swagger"

Honda executives actually said "the 2011 Odyssey will have more swagger than the new [Toyota] Sienna." With a crooked beltline and pretty much identical specs (aside from no all-wheel-drive option), the swagger must lie somewhere under the surface.

Yep, it's the new Honda Odyssey — they'll sell them by the boatload, and current owners will line up when their respective leases run out. A V-6 is the only engine, and it offers up to to 28 mpg in the "Touring Elite" model, which is code for "the one hardcore yuppie moms will buy." Interior amenities include a copy of the Sienna's features list, right down to the double-wide, flip-down LCD screen in the back. It does offer an HDMI port, though, so you can watch super high-def Spongebob on your small HD screen.

Minivans. Ha! [Inside Line]

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The Jalop Gazette

June 17, 2010:

In recent news, this past weekend the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland was broken into during a brief downtime for routine maintenance.

The identities of the perpetrators are still unknown, but on-site security cameras show that they broke in by driving a 2009 Dodge Journey crossover and a 2009 Honda Odyssey minivan through the rear loading bay in into the collider itself when there was a system malfunction, causing the collider to activate.

Reports are still coming in but it would seem that upon the Large Hadron Collider activating and going through a collision cycle, workers reported hearing an immense thunderous bang, as though "two locomotives had crashed together."

Upon investigating the scene, once the Large Hadron Collider had ceased testing, workers found evidence that the two vehicles had been magnetically accelerated in opposite directions and had collided at near-superluminal speeds. As a result, they appear to have been fused together, as the Dodge Journey's rear portion has been joined with the Honda Odyssey just in front of the rear wheels.

There is also evidence that the two vehicles may have been carrying Kenmore refrigerators, as the side door handles of the Odyssey have seemingly been replaced with those of the appliances.

Scientists and investigators are still looking for the rest of the Dodge and the missing rear portion of the Honda, along with the remains of the vehicles' occupants. It is presumed that there were no survivors.

Honda Corp. showed up earlier today to claim the remains of their vehicle for further study. They are expected to release the findings of their own analysis tomorrow.