2011 BMW 5 Series Touring: Baby Got Back That We'll Never Get

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

The new BMW 5 Series is built on the same platform as the 7 Series, which explains the variety of ever-larger backsides. The latest? The BMW 5 Series Touring. Attractive, right? Don't worry, we're probably not getting it here.

The new-for-2011 BMW 5 Series Touring is the 4th generation of the built-for-businessmen tourer. It's also the first to see so many versions of itself. In fact, the BMW 5 Series Sedan, the BMW 5 Series Gran Turismo, the BMW 7 Series and this new BMW 5 Series Touring were all jointly based on the same new F10/F11 vehicle architecture. That explains why the 5 Series been able to show so many more varieties of backside than ever before — it's on a bigger platform.

Regardless, the 5 Series Touring's filled with all the same design aesthetics, functionality, driver assistance systems and accouterments of the BMW 5 Series — albeit with a much larger, more well-defined ass than the sloping thing found on the back end of the 5 Series Gran Turis-oh-no-they-didn't.

Advertisement

Here, we'll show you. Well, we'll tell you — because we don't have any interior images yet. We're told the 5 Series Touring has a luggage compartment with a capacity of 560 litres. We'll let you convert that on your own. And If desired, an increase in capacity to a maximum of 1,670 litres can occur by way of a 40:20:40 split folding rear seat. And if you don't feel like folding it down, the backrest angle is variable by up to 11 degrees.

Advertisement

Under the hood, we're told the BMW 5 Series Touring gets a choice of two straight-six gas engines as well as a four-cylinder and a six-cylinder diesel. Obviously the later two will be available first in Europe and probably never here in the United States. But let's play along with BMW for a moment and talk about the BMW 520d Touring. It's powered by a 135 kW/184 bhp four-cylinder turbo diesel featuring an "aluminium" (whatever that is) crankcase and Common Rail direct injection. It is equipped with Auto Start Stop function as a standard feature, and with an average fuel consumption of 5.2 litres/100km (54.3 mpg) and a CO2 emission level of 137 g/km in an EU test cycle, it achieves the best efficiency in its segment.

Advertisement

The straight-six engine with BMW TwinPower Turbo under the bonnet of the BMW 535i Touring, with High Precision Injection and VALVETRONIC, develops a power output of 225 kW/306 bhp. Maximum power output of the straight-six engine featured in the BMW 523i Touring in lean operation is 150 kW/204 bhp. The BMW 530d Touring features a straight six-cylinder diesel with a 180 kW/245 bhp output. Again, you do the damn conversions. We stopped caring at about the same time we realized the GT is "our" wagon.

All versions of the 5 Series Booty Tourer are "optionally available with BMW's eight-speed automatic transmission." We're guessing that means the standard option's probably not a manual but a fewer-cogs-than-eight slushbox.

Advertisement

Also, it has night vision.

Also, also, we'd really like one here. Maybe an M-version. But we won't get it, no matter how many GTs we are willing to trade Europe for it.