Tech Bros Want Underpaid Gig Workers To Drive Big Wads Of Cash Around For You

During fintech app Robinhood's annual keynote event this week, titled "The Lost City of Gold," the company announced that it was launching a new Robinhood Banking service. That's not really out of the ordinary, there are hundreds of Silicon Valley nerds trying to crack the code of reinventing banks. Elon Musk, for example, is obsessed with the idea of turning Twitter (also known as X The Everything App) into a bank for some reason. Robinhood Banking is different from most other attempts, however, as it offers special perks like getting "cash delivered on-demand right to your doorstep, eliminating the need for an ATM." If there's one thing I wish I could do it's to have a stranger access my bank account, retrieve a large amount of cash, risk potential harm carrying a big wad of greenbacks across town, and then making a surreptitious cash transaction on the street in front of my house. That sounds like it would make my life so much easier, despite the fact that I haven't regularly carried cash or paid for anything with it in close to a decade. 

"With Robinhood Banking, we're trying to solve many of the challenges presented by legacy banks," said Deepak Rao, GM and VP of Robinhood Money. "Robinhood Banking is thoughtfully designed to be as easy to use as possible, while still delivering cutting-edge features historically reserved for the ultra-wealthy."

Robinhood hasn't provided any further information about the cash delivery service yet. According to Entrepreneur, there's "no word yet on how the cash deliveries will take place, what identification will be required, or how the company will ensure the safety of its drivers." The fine print of the announcement does read "Cash delivery service coverage varies based on geographic location." so maybe it'll be limited to big cities. 

I imagine there is a reason that banks and large retailers use armored vehicles and teams of trained threat-assessors to move their money from place to place. I'm not sure I would trust the Uber Eats guy who skims a couple fries off the top of your McDonald's order to bring my cash without taking an Andrew Jackson or two for themselves, and I'm pretty sure I'm not comfortable risking their wellbeing carrying cash in public for a gig worker economy job that pays worse than minimum wage. There are so many ways this could go wrong, and nothing about it seems like a good idea. Maybe leave this one on the cutting room floor, Robinhood.