New Puma Ferrari Merch Screams 'I Let Others Finish First'

Ferrari racing fans, are you the type of person who is happy to let others come before you? I'd assume you are, given the fact Ferrari hasn't won a Formula 1 Drivers' Championship or Constructors Championship since 2007 and 2008, respectively. Now, you can celebrate your love of not finishing first with this new hat from Puma.

It's called the "Ferrari Race Trucker Cap" and this $40 piece of wearable art broadcasts to the world your love of two things: Ferrari and white stains on your clothing. Puma says the hat features "bold, eye-catching graphics," and yeah, I'd have to agree with them.

I'm really not sure what is actually supposed to be going on with this hat. Surely the designers didn't mean for it to look like someone busted all over your bright red Ferrari hat, right? At first, I thought maybe it was like, I don't know, milk or something — but that's more of an Indy 500 thing. That's not Ferrari's jam. Maybe it's water, but who the hell has white water? I don't know, folks. I really don't know.

It begs the question: how the hell did this hat end up like that? I've got a few theories. Perhaps someone was really excited that Lewis Hamilton was joining the team. Maybe they really liked Michael Mann's "Ferrari." Hell, it could even be one of those tribute things. I'm no expert. I'll leave it up to your imagination, though. If you've got a really good theory, please post it down below.

Puma posted four photos of the hat on its website. Three are just the hat by itself with no other visible articles of clothing. However, one of the photos, showing a model wearing the Finishers Hat, also shows him wearing shorts with a very similar design pattern. I scoured Puma's "Scuderia Ferrari" landing page to try and find these shorts (because you need the full collection if you're buying this), but for the love of Christ, I couldn't find it. That leads me to believe that this very handsome model got a little to excited to be featured on Puma's website and did that to the shorts all by himself. We've all been there, buddy. It's OK.

With the whole MAGA thing, wearing a red hat in public is a particularly fraught experience for many people. Well, we've finally found a red hat that is somehow more embarrassing to wear than a MAGA hat. I suppose you can look at that as a bit of a silver lining.

Anyway, if you've seen the Ferrari Race Trucker Cap, read all about it and decided it's still the Ferrari merch for you, head on over to Puma's website. You can pick one of these bad boys up for $40 plus shipping and tax. You won't have to rush either, as I assume these won't be flying off the shelves.