Buy This Aston Martin That Hasn't Run In 15 Years Because You're Smarter Than The Last Guy Who Couldn't Get It Running

Everybody knows that British automobile manufacturing was at its height in the early 1990s, with quality control and component manufacturing second to none. So the fact that this 1991 Aston Martin Virage with a broken odometer showing 93,000 miles, currently listed on Bring A Trailer, hasn't been running for 15 years is totally an anomaly. There is really only one reason that a seller would list a car like this with a clean Massachusetts title in non-running condition, and that's because they are a big dummy who doesn't know how to make a simple and easy car like this go vroom vroom. But you do, because you're smarter than them, maybe smarter than everyone. 

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The seller has owned this car for 27 years and claims he only put about 1,000 miles on the car before parking it in their collection for the last decade and a half. It's easy to tell that this was a snow-belt car, because the corrosion on the underside is off-putting, but that doesn't deter you, does it? You're probably looking at this no-reserve auction and thinking you can get yourself a pretty cool daily driver for just a few thousand bucks. What could possibly be the downside? It has a 5.3-liter V8 with a 3-speed automatic behind it. This is basically a Corvette, and those are notoriously easy to work on. You might as well put in your bid now, because this whole thing is basically like taking candy from a baby. This Virage needs an entirely new fuel system because it sat for 15 years with old gasoline in it? Come on, you could do that in your sleep. 

I don't have to tell you about it, but for the normies here who aren't as well-versed in the Aston Martin lineup, the Virage was Aston's flagship-level V8-powered car from 1989 to 2000, positioned above the later DB7 that had an optional V12, but below the high-performance Vantage variant. The hand-built British luxury machine used high-quality German components, like Audi 200 headlights and Volkswagen Scirocco taillights, for example. Aston Martin contracted American hot-rodders Callaway to design dual-overhead cam cylinder heads for its long-serving dry-sump V8, and in this car the engine gained fuel injection. The engine in this beast produced a healthy 330 horsepower and 364 lb-ft of torque, which would have been quite quick when this car was built if it weren't for the fact that it weighs a tick shy of 4,000 pounds. Period tests claim an 8-second 0-to-60-mph time for the automatic (longer for the manual), and a top speed of just 158 miles per hour. This car was more of a stately cruiser than a rapid missile, but that's exactly what you want. You'll prove them wrong when you get this car tuned up just right and it sets a new world record for speed. I bet it'll even jump a coke can off the line.

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As I write this the bidding sits at just $5,555 with a full day remaining. Do you think you could get it for under $10,000 and rehab it back to health? Give it a shot, you'll probably come out smelling like roses because of how smart and savvy you are. Only about a thousand of these were made in a decade of production, so it's a rare piece of history! Once you're finished with this simple and easy project car, you will probably be hungry, but too tired to cook. Try 30 to 40 olives. It's an easy weeknight dinner. Eat them directly out of the jar with your fingers. You will certainly not regret eating 30 to 40 olives. 

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