If Buying A Cybertruck Didn't Make You Comfortable With The Size Of Your Wiener, Maybe The Mansory 'Elongation' Can Help

Fellas, please listen to me. If your penis is physically unsatisfactory or stops working, for whatever reason, I promise you do not need to debase yourself with Mansory's take on the Tesla Cybertruck, which is called the Elongation. No, I'm not joking.

As with all Mansory projects, the Elongation is anything but subtle, building on the already garish Cybertruck with lots of tacked-on carbon fiber bits, some winglets, new wheels and a lightbar up top. The interior is actually... better than the regular Cybertruck in my opinion. It has some interesting splashes of color and material choices that take the rather drab interior of the Cybertruck and make it more interesting. It's all intended to make up for the fact you're balding, your wiener isn't working and your wife and kids aren't picking up the phone anymore.

Mansory

On the outside, Mansory's "designers" stuck the aforementioned carbon-fiber bits all over the car, including the bumpers, hood, wheel arches and side skirts. They even added a little four-sided carbon fiber panel behind the rear windows, a lightbar on the roof and some winglets above the tailgate to make the truck a bit less useful. Mansory says all of these parts are made of real carbon fiber, but they're available in several designs and can be painted in different colors depending on what the customer (read: lonely guy) wants.

One aspect of the Elongation that I don't detest are the wheels. They're 26 inches, which is probably too big, but they've got a sort of turbofan look to them, which really works for me. Mansory says customers should throw on high-performance 315/40R26 tires on the front and rear. I've got no idea what said tires, along with the extra tacked-on bits, will do for the Cybertruck's range, but I've got to assume it won't be good. Mansory says the Elongation will go about 2.4 miles per kWh, which seems to be on par with what the regular Cybertruck gets.

Inside, well, I'm a bit ashamed to admit it, but I sort of like what Mansory has done here. The company says that "only the finest materials" were used inside the Elongation, and I cannot confirm if that's true or not, but it does look a lot better than a normal drab Cybertruck. Mansory will add full leather upholstery and, of course, a lot of carbon fiber according to what the customer wants. For its show model, Mansory fitted the Elongation with a black and white interior with highlighter yellow accents. Both the black and white surfaces come with a really neat pixel pattern to add a bit more oomph. It also looks like the steering wheel shape has been slightly altered, and the Elongation gets Mansory-specific floormats to match the rest of the interior. I know it's not a look everyone will like, but it's a vast improvement over the blank void that is the normal Cybertruck's interior. Still, this car's interior does not do enough to make up for the sins of its exterior.

Mansory

There's no word on what the pricing will be for the Mansory Elongation, but I cannot imagine it will be cheap. We'll see what the uptake is on this package because I've gotta assume most Cybertruck owners are pretty hard up on cash right now between the alimony and child support payments as well as the massive depreciation hit their trucks are taking.

It was always just a matter of time before Mansory got its grubby little hands on a Cybertruck, and I guess this is sort of tame in comparison to a lot of what its makes, but damn — it's still a nightmare. What can you really expect, though? There isn't anything anyone can do to make a Cybertruck look good.

Mansory