This Tacky $15 Million Desert Compound Comes With Two Dozen Off-Road Machines To Share With All The Friends You Can Buy

If you're one of America's 756 boring and soulless billionaires and you wish you had more friends, this desert compound is calling you, even if your kids won't. This 400-acre desert complex in Winterhaven, California butts right up to the Imperial Sand Dunes Recreation Area (colloquially known as Glamis). Since you wealth-gobbling wage thieves are completely bereft of creativity, the house and its many garages come fully stocked with sand rail cars and side-by-sides. You'll get a full ten Polaris RZR RS1s, which have been discontinued but cost $15,999 each brand new, so a full one percent of the $15 million purchase price of the home can be accounted for just in Polaris RZRs. Another thirteen sand cars are in another garage on the property, each packing paddle tires and General Motors LS V8s, probably running deep into the five figures for each one. It seems the seller's pick of the litter is the Tri-five Chevy-looking machine, as they've had the car painted on the wall of the home's 2,100-square-foot game room. The games in the room, which are not likely to be played often, are also included with the home. 

Special thanks to our pals at UTV Driver and RideApart, who dug this house up for us to find it. 

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That game room, by the by, accounts for just a quarter of the main home's 8144 square feet. An attached 1,223 square foot casita provides plenty of room for your friends to enjoy your hospitality, drink your wine, and use your wifi. If that wasn't enough, there's also a bungalow with a pair of one bed one bath guest homes, and a 2,316 square foot "caretaker home" for the help to live in. A full 10 bedrooms and 12 bathrooms are included with the house. I've always wondered why rich people need more bathrooms than bedrooms. Do they expect all of their guests to get diarrhea at the same time, or do they just need a private space to snort rails of coke?

If you want to hire a full-time mechanic to work on your machines, they'll have plenty of space to lay out their tools with an on-site 7,115 sq. ft. garage, 3,461 sq. ft. covered carport, 7,200 sq. ft. shop, 3,240 sq. ft. man cave, 4,800 sq. ft. hangar, and 13,700 sq. ft. container building. That is, of course, in addition to the main house's three-car attached garage, the bungalow's 2,432 sq. ft. attached garage, and the caretaker home's single carport. Everywhere you look, there's plenty of room to tuck away a machine, which is good because the home also includes "numerous tractors" from Caterpillar, Massey, John Deere, Kubota, and Case. 

In case none of that was enough for you, there's a helicopter hangar, various utility machines, an off-road race track, tanker trucks, and a dune-crawling schoolbus included with the price. You get everything you'd ever need to run a facility like this, assuming you hire enough people who know how it all works. Obviously you're not going to spend your valuable time learning how to run a tanker truck or properly maintain all of the water/power/septic systems to keep the place alive. Give yourself a pat on the back, you're creating jobs by buying this house. Perhaps you can call your friend, the president, and see if he'll carve out a tax exemption for this house, it is a new business expense, after all. 

Zillow

For added convenience, this home is conveniently located within spitting distance of Interstate 8 and the Mexico border. Good luck getting any comps for this complex in the area, as the median home value for Winterhaven, California is $80,000. You'll have to bring cash, because it's unlikely any banks would put up a mortgage on this place. Of course you'll probably have some fake "unrealized gains" in the stock market that you can borrow against to pay for it, or you can do a round of layoffs in order to raise the share price of your own company in order to make a bit extra to cover this purchase. Some way or another, I'm sure you'll find the cash, right? Maybe cut employee dental or something. It's a sacrifice you're willing to make. 

This house was built in 2007, and it looks like it hasn't been redecorated since, so you'll have to budget a few million extra to cover the renovation. It would be tragic for your new desert-riding friends to visit your house and have it still match the photos from the real estate listing, right? Yeah, it's better to hire a contractor now. By the time next season rolls around, you'll be positively drowning in friends. Good job, you won.