The Most Hipster Things At The 2015 Audi A3 Press Junket, Ranked

This week is the special time of year when Audi invites crusty auto journos to drive the new 2015 Audi A3. Audi's A3 marketing strategy seems to revolve around hipsters. Their press junket strategy does not. These are the most un-hipster things here, ranked from most hipster to least hipster.

25. Me

24. The hipsters that Audi wants to buy the 2015 Audi A3

23. My tweed blazer

22. Raw space

21. Blackberry smoothies (vegan)

20. Pineapple smoothies (non-vegan)

19. Electric vehicle charging stations

18. Diesel Audis

17. Being chauffeured in diesel Audis

16. Google-y things

15. Audis with Twitter

14. Audis with Wifi

13. Audis with Facebook

12. San Francisco

11. Hanging out with old guys

10. Old guys

9. Awkward lunches

8. Oysters (locally sourced)

7. Sea scallops (non-locally sourced)

6. Awkward dinners

5. A 1966 Ferrari 275 GTB Alloy Longnose with original patina, part of a semi-secret car collection, at awkward dinners

4. Semi-secret car collections, of which no pictures, including Instagram, are allowed

3. The dude who designed the 2015 Audi A3, Dany Garand

2. The people who will actually buy the 2015 Audi A3

1. The 2015 Audi A3

Expect a full review of the decidedly normcore 2015 A3 soon.