You know those scenes in certain comedy movies or TV shows where a character wants to pretend like people are interested in something, so they run around in the crowd and shout things in different voices to pretend they're many people? That's the template the Rezvani PR department uses.
Are you not familiar with Rezvani? Well, according to several emails we've gotten recently, you desperately want to be. And, actually, the car, the Rezvani Beast, seems pretty fun — it's essentially an Ariel Atom with an aggressive, sleek carbon-fiber body designed by Samir Sadikhov, who designed the Aston Martin DBC concept, among other things.
That's all fine. I just want you to see the emails we've gotten about the car, all in the last few days. First, these two from the same address, within 15 mins of each other:
Can you do something on this car popping up all over the net lately.
Rezvanimotors.com
and
Sry,
Can you also include info on the owner (fardis rezvani), Saber Motors LLC, and Bullleta Motors
I suppose it's possible that's just a real email from an interested reader, but it sure sounds like some PR guy dictating to someone. Who says things like "popping up all over the net lately?" And then sends a follow-up email skiing to "include info in the owner" who this guy already clearly knows? Something smells fishy. And it's not just my cat food moisturizing masque.
Then we got this one:
Saw this article. I dont know much about else this. Could be the American Koenigsegg... or Devel sixteen
Again, sure, it's possible it's an interested reader, but it still doesn't sound like most of the interested reader emails. This still feels more like a PR guy's friend being told what to email.
Then we get another:
I've seen a couple articles and visited the Rezvani website and it almost appears to be this decade's version of the Vector. Using the Ariel Atom Chassis, they are making claims of a 500 HP supercharged and turbocharged 4 cylinder in a 1550 lb car doing 0-60 in 2.7 sec.
http://www.rezvanimotors.com/jywc16w8y455op…
Now it's feeling creepy. The same strange, marketing-guy rushed over-enthusiam, the same comparisons to established super cars (still, Vector? Do they really want to be another Vector? Is the goal to not sell cars?)
And, of course, there's the spouting of specs and facts about the car that sounds like it came right from another press release or pre-written article. "Using the Ariel Atom Chassis..." Come on! Nobody writes emails like that to us. Well, no actual humans — PR bots do it all the time.
We also got this from a auto parts/tuning shop:
Hello,
we have been working on the engine build for this over here and thought you might like to see it -
Okay, maybe it is the shop working on Rezvani's engines, but it still feels like more PR department ordered emails. Like they all do.
So, Rezvani, let's just be up front with each other — look, we're writing about you. But if you want us to write about your car, it's okay to just talk to us! Even better, loan us a car! It looks like a blast! Just please don't pretend you're a bunch of eager, fictional enthusiasts. It's weird.
So, if the car exists outside of a bunch of renderings and optimistically-guessed specs, fantastic. Let's try this brute out. I'll see if I can put a baby seat in it, Travis can try to win back some old girlfriends in it, hell, maybe we'll let Raph flip it on its side. But please just contact us for real, and enough with the Cyrano bullshit.
And, if we're wrong, and everyone wrote these odd, stilted emails independently, out of their own volition, then, I guess I'm sorry? But you people write some shitty-ass emails.