A 39-year-old German man had his penis tattooed with the word "Mini" to win a new Mini Cooper in a radio contest. Naturally, he did It on the air, accompanied by his screaming in agony. What a cock.
The Austrian Times reported that the man, Andreas Muller of Saxony-Anhalt, won the contest by devising the craziest Mini-related stunt. That's nothing, buddy. Want to impress us? Make it a calligram.