By Andrew Stoy, 4:40 PM on Mon Aug 4 2008, 5,123 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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What better way to while away the lazy afternoon hours than with a collection of jokes, anecdotes and humorous diagrams depicting the joys of Lucas electrical systems? Joe Lucas — or, more accurately, the company bearing his name — engineered electrical bits for pretty much everything emanating from the UK, and the notorious unreliability of Lucas components played a key role in tanking the British car industry in the early 1980s. Make the jump for "If Lucas made guns, wars would not start," and other classics.

• The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
• Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
• Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
• Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
• The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
• The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
• Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices