PCH, German Hellwagons Of Finland Edition: Taunus or Turbo Kadett?

In a not very shocking development, the Lincoln Mark VIIchero outclassed and out-helled the drag-racing '73 El Camino in yesterday's Choose Your Eternity poll, and we're sure everyone needs a breather from cartrucks after yesterday's madness. So what do we need? Station wagons, of course! And not just any station wagons- we're looking at old German station wagons... from Finland. You want umlauts? Wë'll gïvë ÿöü ümläüts! Finland must be the most umlaut-happy nation on the face of the earth. And rust? Oh yeah, Finland boasts excellent conditions for encouraging iron and oxygen atoms to get together and party. We can all thank Turbobrick for finding these ads and translating them for us; a PCH Tipster T-shirt will soon be arriving at his hut in the birch forests... that is, if the mailman can get through 20-foot snowdrifts.


Station wagons are mighty cool, all right-thinking individuals will surely agree, but even an off-brand Detroit wagon isn't absolutely impossible to find parts for in North America. However, when you get a 47-year-old German Ford station wagon, good things happen. You get one of the wildest grilles you'll ever see on a wagon, flabbergasted "What the hell is that?" inquiries from nearly everyone who sees the thing, and no parts whatsoever on your continent. So step right up, arrange for shipping from Finland, and grab this 1961 Ford Taunus 17M Turnier wagon, which will be all yours for the price of just €4,990. According to Turbobrick, this Taunus "includes a Blaupunkt
tube radio, drivable, inspection is not current." We figure once you get the car out of Finland, you won't have to worry about the inspection thing, and you get a tube radio in the 1960s! Wow! These kids with their MP3-compatible sound systems don't know that real music comes from radios that need to warm up, you see.

That Taunus is very tempting, but what if you're hungry for genuine backyard turbocharged power? Say, a 1200cc engine with what appears to be a chromed turbo intake and IHI turbocharger, in a bright green Opel Kadett station wagon? Well, if you substitute the words "in a bright green Opel Kadett" with the words "scattered near a bright green Opel Kadett," then we've got what you're looking for: This 1972 Opel Kadett Caravan, with a very reasonable price of only €1000. According to Turbobrick, the description states it's a "72 Opel Kadett Caravan 1.2 with homemade turbo kit, unfinished project, suspension and brakes done, engine in pieces," so what more do you need? Sure, some Finn's half-completed turbo project is sure to have all manner of unpleasant surprises, but at least you might be able to find a few Kadett parts in North America, as dozens of the little Opels were sold here. Don't think about the negatives, though, because you'll be the envy of all the tuner kids in their boring ol' 200SXs and Civics when you drift into their field of vision in your Finnish Turbo Kadett!

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