Jalopnik
Each week we'll let two silver screen automotive icons face off and let you decide which stays and which one goes home, tailpipe between their legs. That's right, it's like an online Thunderdome — except without the death thing. We call it the "Star Car Shootout." Let's get ready to rumble.
Recently we told you about the Rinspeed sQuba, a vehicle which blatantly mimics 007's Lotus Esprit submarine from The Spy Who Loved Me. And while the scuba-diving Elise is pretty cool, it just doesn't compare to James Bond's original Lotus-sub when it comes to the "cool" factor. Which got us thinking: Sure, the Q-branch Esprit is one of the most famous movie cars ever, but just how cool is it? Superstar fame does not equate coolness; some people find infamy or obscurity much cooler. For instance, let's compare the Esprit to another wedge-shaped supercar that's capable of crossing a body of water: the Lamborghini Countach from the film Speed Zone. But before you make a knee-jerk decision, watch the clips below:
For those of you that don't know, Speed Zone was the third installment of the Cannonball Run series. And as you'd expect, it's terrible as an actual movie. The proper way to enjoy it is lying down on the floor in front of your TV, with assorted Hot Wheels to one side and some milk and cookies to the other. The movie is shamelessly ridiculous in all the best ways. But don't think it's a carbon copy of the first two Cannonball installments. Whereas the opening scenes of Run and Run II are identically cheesy, the opening of Speed Zone can actually stand on it's own merits. In this infamous scene, a trusty Lamborghini Countach is hotly pursued by the fuzz in their Dodge Diplomats. As opposed to the boring desert highways of the first two films; Speed Zone's chase is on windy country back roads. The Countach slides sideways on the loose dirt surface, as if it's enacting the hand-held 1:64 scale powerslides of boys everywhere. Then, to top it all off, the Lambo drives straight onto a pond and skims across the surface like a skipping stone. For me as a child, this was what ingrained the idea of what a Lamborghini or any other supercar is supposed to be: something rebellious, ridiculous, and rapid. Yes, I know some of the action shots are of a lowly Fiero-based kit rather than the genuine Italian article, but it was the '80s—people were more interested in spending money on blow than on movie props. Besides, every handsome star has a cheap lookalike stunt-double. Ok, I've said enough, just sit back and enjoy the awesome '80s soundtrack.
Most people automatically consider "James Bond" synonymous with "cool." It's easy to see why; he's got a license to kill, all the guns and gadgets the Her Majesty can afford, and he always delivers a witty punch line. And when it comes to iconic symbols that represent 007's character, Roger Moore's Lotus Esprit submarine is always near the top of the list, right up there with Sean Connery's Aston Martin DB5. Nowadays when we think of an Esprit, we imagine a very long-in-the-tooth model of late; but when The Spy That Loved Me came out, the Esprit was a fresh new model with a very modern image. So the Esprit was the perfect car to convince audiences that it could somehow transform into a fully-loaded submarine. Now, of course there was never an actual Esprit sub; just a series of different props and mock-ups. But that's all "movie magic," which is just fine. Let's pretend all those extra Q-branch goodies worked for real. Now ask yourself, are all those gadgets actually cool? or just very dorky? As you watch the chase scene, you're likely laughing. That's fine, except for you can't help but think that the people making the movie weren't making it with comedy as the primary goal. It's sort of the same feeling you get when watching the new Knight Rider: you laugh at the movie rather than with the movie.
So which do you like? The obscure b-movie hero? Or the blockbuster superstar?
Comments
All I can say after watching the Speed Zone clip is that David Wheatley (as in "Music by: David Wheatley") should be very proud.
Voted Lotus.
I'll have to say the Submarine Esprit as I actually used this scene in grade 7 for a presentation on "Computers In Cars". I got an A- for the assignment.
It's a Lotus Esprit. There endeth the lesson.
Lotus all the way.
Countach is just dumb. No matter which way you slice it.
Esprit - Hands down!
And forget that Cannonball Run II Countach shit, this is the only one...
The Esprit is a graceful and classy lady. But the Countach knows how to show you a good time, if you know what I mean.
Both have the aim to please, but the Esprit has the style to stick around.
I choose the subEsprit
Sorry... I have to go for the pond-skimming Lambo...
The Lotus was designed (by Q) to be able to submerge, whereas the driver of the Lambo said screw it, and then hooned it across a pond while the two people fishing crapped in their britches...
Hoon of the decade (if it were real)... My vote goes to the Lambo.
Can you please add "None of the above"? Since neither of these cars did their own stunts (come on, where on the Lotus would you put those fins? And what British sports car, much less Lotus would EVER be water tight? Also, you note that the heavy lifting in the Cannonball movie was done by a lowly Fiero stunt double.) I don't consider either to be cool.
I think the better question is "What is the coolest movie ride ever?"
BTW, does anyone know the make of the white car, driven by Tony Curtis in "The Greta Race"? In the movie, it was dubbed The Leslie".
The horizontal stabilizers on the Lotus are nice, but nothing comes close to actually skipping a car across water whether it's a real Lambo, Fiero, or a Corolla wagon. That scene is the cornerstone of my automotive obsession. I vote Lambo.
Is Speed Zone even avaliable on DVD?
Lambo-rama. Pond skipping >> submarine ops.
Also, hard to call that movie a B movie, lots of stars in it, even if just for a short time or cameos.
Esprit for just pure fantasy...I saw the intro on Cannonball II over and over again when I was a kid but the Esprit,,,,,that I want
It was a tough one... But the Esprit for me.
Of course, if I tried to use the Esprit's sub feature here in DC's Potomac river... I'd get snagged on a body or two near Anacostia.
@JoSCh: That's right! You Don't B-movie "The Burt"!!!!1!!!
I would like to vote none of the above, and take this oportunity to nominate the supercar under the truck from Condorman. It can out-run, adn out-gun a squad of 911s, and it turns into a speed boat!
Like any other child who was born in the 70's and grew up in the 80's, I had a poster of a Contach on my wall. I had the Matchbox car. I had the Transformer. The Lambo wins it for me.
Neither. The 308 is the coolest, it can make women's underwear disappear.
I picked the Lamborghini. I mean, c'mon. It's a freakin' Lamborghini. I masturbated to my Lambo poster as a kid.
While I'd rather have an Esprit now, the Countach was my dream car at the time Speed Zone came out, and the trailer featuring that skipping seen meant I had to see the movie. Countach gets my vote.
@graverobber: Coolest movie ride ever is the M4S (Turbo Interceptor) from The Wraith.
Speed Zone: Cliche overload ...must ...respond ...in kind ...with Shatneresque ...broken ...sentences.
A submersible Lotus will always be cooler than a Countach in my books. But if we ever got a poll about the coolest automotive movie stunt, one of the contenders would have to be James Bond barrel rolling over a canal in an AMC Hornet.
Lambo here. Watching somebody hang that rear out like that on the dirt was just a good thing to see.
I saw both of these when I was really young, which could explain why I'm here. The Lotus was like "ooh, that's neat..." whereas the Countach introduced to me to what arousal was.
I'll have to go with the Lotus on this one. For the sole fact that the countach skipping trick is something that bond would do, they just never thought of it.
I'm surprised this isn't a Project Car Hell instead.
lambo...just for the list of B movie actors...
Now I want to see Speed Zone just so I can hear Michael Spinks deliver his lines. That's got to be hilarious.
If I may be sold bold, after 45+ years and dozens of product placements and promotional tie-ins, James Bond has become cliche to the point where connecting Bond to any product automatically makes it suspect. That's precisely why, where watches are concerned I prefer a lowly Tudor to an Omega. My vote goes to the Lambo.
If it was a Cannonball Run Lambo with hotties in satin Jumpsuits, I'd say yes, but its crap ass Speed Zone, So Im going Lotus!
My vote goes to...
The Wraith
For some reason I have a very clear childhood memory of choosing some Monty Python thing over Speed Zone for my video rental of the week. Now I wish I hadn't.
Also, I remember (around the same time) some kid on the playground telling me that a Lamborghini could drive on water if it had 'water wings'. So now I know where that little nugget came from.
How about "The Man With The golden Gun" where James jumps the river while doing a barrel roll in the AMC Rebel or AMX.
@BlackIce_GTS: I forgot some things:
Ha! The Smothers Brothers? I used to love those guys. Now I can't remember anything at all about them. This is a very nostalgia-inducing post.
@ everyone who said 'something else': See the 'Star Car Shootout' headline? This is probably a new feature. It's no DotS, but it seems promising. Posts where we get to argue with each other are always popular.
@bruxell: Nova Sterling:
[www.imcdb.org]
A Lamborghini is almost always invariable "cooler" than a Lotus.
Lambo.
The Roger Moore Cheese Factor on the Lotus is just too much.
Creigs9 gets a shout-out for the malaise-est Bond car ever, the AMC Matador Coupe.
The beginning of the Bond clip summarizes nicely the idea of James Bond....specifically, a fast car, suit and tie, one woman you've slept with (or will sleep with) next to you, another woman you've slept with (or will) trying to kill you with a helicopter.
As for the submersible portion, well...how much water do you think got in before the wheels rotated up and the wheel wells were sealed off?
I still voted for it.
Good idea for a series of posts -- can't wait for the Ferris Bueller Ferrari.
Ooh, also, don't forget that Roger Moore was in the original Cannonball Run, where he no doubt put his Bond-learned driving talents to work. Or something.
Without even looking at the previous comments. Lambo. I was raised on this movie. It means everything to me, and I've forced many a person to sit through it...The chase and movie will forever be fused to my memory...As well and the cheesy sounds from the rest of the movie, like the daytona sounds that oddly resemble that of a 930 turbo with a straight pipe...
I love this movie. This is also m very first post on Jalopnik..Minus sending the power that be a spy-shot of a wrx-hatch
Countach, the only Italian I've ever loved
@beta.rogan: you didn't have the micro machine? FYI, in my new "grown up" place, my Countach poster is the focus wall piece of the TV room.
I voted Countach (if you couldn't already guess). I've seen the Lotus bit thousands of time, but I only had vague memories of the Lambo jump. Always thought it was in Dukes of Hazzard, or performed by the black lambo pictured above (Cannonball 2, right?). I had begun to question myself whether it actually existed.
Beyond that personal note, it's been proven that you can build a sub-car over and over. Nobody can skip a car on the surface, so that's cooler. In any case, how about that 270 slide? Talk about stopping on a dime. Literally.
what citizen braff said. plus, the countach poster the length of my bed was as hott as the helo pilot.
the "ya-hoon" in me said countach is cooler because of sheer excitement of the lambo drifting in the dirt and then performing a skimming over the pond in the back woods...shiieet, that was narly how the lambo seemed to just "float" both on the dirt and the water...
A Countach with boobs driving or a Q-branch Submarine Esprit... ahhh the choices of my childhood... brings back memory's.
@graverobber: The Great Race car was dubbed The Leslie Special and was a homemade car with influences from the Thomas Flyer that won the real life New York - Paris 1908 race. The movie car used a Corvair engine.
Oh, yeah. I'm gonna like this competition. Movie cars are some of my favorite things.
The Countach, that's really how they should all be driven. The Lotus, on the other hand, is something special, different from the other hypercharged wedges. Plus, didn't it have plaid seats (can't watch the imbedded video right now). Plaid seats, man!
Oh, and for the record, I chose the Lotus. While it's true that there was never a real Lotus submarine, they did use full scale body shells and a wet submersible in the movie. The bubbles that come up from the windshield header area are from the scuba gear of the stunt drivers. Underwater hoonage was filmed in the Bahamas.
Who the hell are the jokesters choosing the Lambo?
Not only was Speed Zone one of the worst movies ever made, but the stunt was kinda meh in comparison to A FUCKING SUBMARINE CAR.
Lambo. Who am I to argue with Jaime Farr? Can't wait to see the A-Team GMC vs. the Scooby-Doo Econoline.
Growing up, I must have watched The Cannonball Run series about 50 times. I now realize how awful the movies were, but that Countach dominated my automotive fantasies for the better part of a decade. No questions asked: Countach.