Jalopnik
Even though only 11% of you chose the If only they'd put Lamborghini bodies on them at the factory poll choice in Friday's DOTS Fiero poll, I feel compelled to share this fine example of a "Lamborghini Countach" that I spotted in the island's East End last week. Sure, the fit and finish isn't quite up to Yugo standards, but at least it's not another boring Camry or Malibu! I'm pretty sure it's based on the Pontiac Fiero chassis, but its smog check records indicate that it's registered as a 2000 model. That's why I'm including a poll, so that all of us have a chance to debate this car's identity.
This car was parked right across the street from where the '62 Corvair Van lives, but the van must have been off at a painting job that day.
So what do you really pay for when you buy a real Lamborghini? Some might say you get somewhat better quality in your emblems, for starters.
Hold on- is that an automatic transmission? Looks like the shifter just sticks out of a slit sliced into the vinyl with a Stanley knife.
At least it has hugely fat tires, just like the real thing.
Just to further muddy the identification waters, there's this Cadillac emblem on what may or may not be the engine cover. As we know, Cadillac 4.9 engines fit nicely in a Fiero, so maybe that's what we've got here. Let us know what you think we've got here!
Comments
El Weirdoghini!
I think the wheel base is too long for it to be a Fiero, speaking of which, they need to bring back, with a turbo V6 (you know, unless GM wants Lotus to have that market all to themselves).
It's a Lamborghini based Fiero.
What? Looks like the real thing to me....
Blasphemy.
I'm pretty sure that's a GM gauge cluster and steering column, which narrows it down to Fiero-based kit car or little-known budget model put out by Lamborghini (hey, if GM parts were good enough for Rolls Royce and Bentley during the '80s then they were good enough for Lamborghini).
The interior looks Fiero-based to me, but wasn't the VIN visible?
@POLAR_HAS_PAPERBITS_ON_HIS_ARSE: But, is it pretty nice?
@lemondriver: I take exception to that you tuckfard! (:kidding:)
Do the doors scissor up or is that a real bad panel alignment? Judging by the rest of the car, I'd go with option B there.
@Maymar: Agreed. The handbrake is definitely Fiero. I'm starting to think it's a mish-mash of various cars
Is that an impression left by a bicycle seat?
The question is...what kind of beeing owns these kind of cars. I hava an image of a smelling creepy tango salsa hair implant small fat tanned with faked gold teeth or something.....must be some kind of pervert
Hard to say the gauges are definitely fiero spec but the front end is not smashed in. Everyone knows when you the throttle in a fiero it stops responding to any steering inputs. So most fiero anythings hit something with the wheels turned full lock.
I also want a tag that extolls the cultural supremacy of rednecks.
I'd also like to see the MR-2 back. Not the MR-S. That thing was a disgrace. Toyota needs a nice TURBO 4 banger in their mid engine cars (something built like a brick s**thouse, like the old 3SGTE), along with less girly styling (That's probably where the Mrs., I mean MR-S got its name).
I really want to see more affordable, powerful MR cars.
As far as styling goes, I give massive support to whoever decides rip off the styling cues/proportions of the NSX. That's the kind of car that should be copied.
If Hyundai decides to pick up the ball that GM and Toyota dropped (and they throw in that new V8), I swear to God I will buy one when it comes out.
Keep making fun of Don Johnsons car plebes.
Salsa/Tango dance partner FOUND!
TOSTITOS@YAHOO.COM
@LuciferV8: 4A-GZE was a nice little package pumping out about
140-145 bhp, tucked in the lightweight MK1. A swap of one of these into a bone stock '86 with no t-roofs or power options... damn I miss my
Mr. Two!!1!
I nominate this gem as the worst DOTS car ever!
it is a fiero, the hand brake, the centre column, and the dash board all point to fiero.
Few things make me laugh as hard as Fieros with exotic body kits. There's a "Ferraro" near where i live that's supposed to look like a 308, but the proportions are all wrong.
And i've seen a few Fieros on the road with big "ram air" nostrils stuck on the hood. I guess even their owners are confused as to where the engine is on those things. You'd think that on a car that's prone to engine-compartment fires, it might be a good idea to get more cooling air, you know, into the place where the engine actually *is*.
@gotsmart: You really misunderestimate the stupditude of the 'merican people.
this car was on "To Catch a Predator". The guy thought he heard screaming, but they were laughing at his car. The condoms and alcohol didn't help his case
If there IS a Fiero under there, I'm pretty sure it has no self esteem left - if it had any to begin with after the way The Gen treated it.
A Fieroborghini is a waste of time without wings front and back.
Most ghetto . . . center console . . . ever. I love the vinyl that's just been wrapped around that gauge, all wrinkled and shoved under the shift slit.
What is this thing, really?
It's a goddamn trainwreck if you ask me.
@AmishJohn: Yeah this car is probably an alcoholic with a raging coke addiction that likes to dress up like a whore and try to get a "tango" partner. It's the car equivalent of a lonely, depressed, hitting rock bottom crossdresser with an eating disorder and horrifying drug problems.
And mmm car-apples...
Hard to get any of the Ohio State cheerleaders into that.
It's a LeMons entry waiting to happen.
As awful as the Countach was, as overhyped and underfunded as the Fiero was, this thing was a stillborn two-headed baby before the body kit even knew there was a chassis waiting for it. Stir in the cackling, slobbering, hand-wringing mechanic that flung bits at the chassis until they stuck, and this is what you wind up with.
I have seen Fieroghini kits that came out oh, so nice. Add the chassis stretch and do all the suspension upgrades, switch out the capable but bland little V6 for a lonely NorthStar, and then don't overthink the body. Trim where necessary, don't overtighten until the panels dimple, remember to mask when painting. The results can fool almost everyone, it sounds nothing like a Lambo (but the snort of an angry NorthStar is still a stirring note) but it goes, stops, turns and feels much like the real thing. Best of all, there are plenty of repair parts to be had at AutoZone.
But this poor thing is none of that. And now it reposes here, in the Ripley's Museum of Badly Executed Car Projects, Jalopnik.
This car looks like--and fits together like--one of Mad Magazine's old fold-in back covers.
One expects this Fierbo, FauxLambo whatever you want to call it to shed parts as it rolls along. Instead of Tango and Salsa, it's more Lambada and Macarena.
You can download and print the Kit here: [art66.hp.infoseek.co.jp]
can someone please email the owner a link to this page? i would be so happy if he came on here and commented.
I am a big fan of kit cars and there are some excellent ones out there. But this... this... abomination is just a poor excuse for a cluster f**k. If I were Senior Lamborghini, I would put out a contract on the owner. I understand Italians are good at that sort of thing.
"Salsa/Tango dance partner wanted"
It's a faux Lamborghini Countach pussy magnet, obviously, which we all know is only going to attract faux pussy... this car has the potential of containing two trannies, the automatic and the one in the passenger seat...
@Charles_Barrett: Faux P*ssy Comment of The Day!
It's a case study in postmodern irony.
Lamborghini should build a Fiero kit car on a Gallardo chassis. That would totally pick up all the babes at SEMA...the guy with the Gallardostang would probably be forced to commit seppuku.
I was looking for "Piece of shit" in the poll, but that option was curiously missing! I'm sure a large majority of us would have gladly accepted that option as our opinion of this abomination of a historic, but horrible in it's own right, piece of automotive history. (Yes, I know a guy who owned one), a REAL one.
You know it would have been a easy case if you took a picture of just above the driver seat to see if there was a gas cap release lever.
At first impression the center console is longer then a unmodified Fiero and the steering column is too far away from the drivers seat but obviously the interior has been modified with a removal of the dash board and whatever else was put in to it. My first thought was that it was more proportions to a firebird or camero but with hardly anything tying it to a Fiero besides the handbrake it's hard to tell.
Please let me know if you need any impressive modified Fieros to out weigh the disasters you so regularly publish.
Is that a fire extinguisher in the passenger footwell?
Does that confirm it as a Fiero?
when i get my lambo, i will put a fiero body on it. (where i live that may be cheaper than an actual fiero)
Back in highschool I sold my welding teacher a Pontiac Sunfire spoiler to put on the back of his Lambo convertible bodied Fiero. I'm not sure if he ever managed to finish the project, he was trying to use the conversion process to teach his students, and they usually managed to break parts faster than they could put replacements on the vehicle.
I sold the same guy my Dad's '89 Cherokee through the school board for a tax writeoff back in '99, eventually he stripped all the body panels off, welded in a cage, and turned it into an offroader so he could run it around at his cottage. Interesting character (he owned at least 3 other Fieros beyond the one getting the body kit, also collected Jeeps, and welded up his own custom wheels from scratch).
@jonnylieberman: YES
You know, looking at the greenhouse I can't shake the feeling that the top third of the car is from a Lotus Esprit. But who would modify an exotic car to look like a crappy imitation of an exotic car?
As to who out there would do such a thing....
"I like you Stuart, you're not like the other people here, in the trailer park."
I'm still wiping spittle off my screen from laughing so hard.
I can't belive a Shitero is still mobile, much less one with this 'body' attached. Someone put it out of its misery, wouldja?
When the guy next door had a visitor, year before last, who had a Countach, I had to give it a gander, just 'cause I thought it was one of the best looking cars made in the 80's. This guy, the neighbor, had a Ferrari 512 and a mid-engined red convertible one...the F360 Spyder, or whatever it was. Much of a gearhead that I am, I'm not a Ferrari guy. Just not my cuppa, y'know?
The Lambo was in near-perfect condition, which meant the hideousness of it jumped out at me when I looked at it closely, like panel gaps and the like. Then I made this mistake...I looked inside. When I was 12, I could have designed a dashboard more ergonomically useful than that plastic fantastic wonder. Erk.
What. A. Roach.