Witness Guy Fieri, The King Who Will Lead Us To Water And Sustenance On The Fury Road

GIF via YouTube

Tonight on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, we uncover the best kept secret of the post-nuclear-holocaust desert: Immortan Joe’s Citadel!

Guy Fieri knows how to find Flavortown in the wastelands. Guy Fieri knows all the dives. With his Camaro steed, all shiny and chrome, Guy Fieri will lead the way.

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Fieri will lead us to the Green Place, full of off-da-hook food and kicked-up nourishment for all.

Take care of our planet, my friends, and heed the madness of war, for Mad Max: Fieri Road foreshadows our gel-spiked, flame-throwing, bleach-blonde, donkey-sauced future if we do not.

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[H/T Bryan Menegus, for in the dark times, we feed upon each other]

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Stef Schrader

Contributor, Jalopnik. 1984 "Porschelump" 944 race car, 1971 Volkswagen 411 race car, 2010 Mitsubishi Lancer GTS.