Because the story is a bit vague, we have to assume that Lauren Evans of Des Moines, Iowa really loves her Nissan Sentra. Maybe it's a classic SE-R with an SR20DT swap and JDM bumpers? That's the theory we've got for what happened after the 19-year-old accidentally struck a parked Dodge Stratus that happened to be owned by her husband. What else would explain why she went all Amy Winehouse on him and "threw punches at him and put him in a headlock." It couldn't be that she cared about the Stratus.

Like all good teenage husbands, the Stratus owner told the cops that he wanted to file an assault report against his young bride. So either she's a serious car nut, just a nut, or Mr. Evans is a cheating, lying scumbag. Let this be a reminder that the best way to respond if your spouse hits your ride is to speak calmly and find your mace. [Des Moines Register]