We're Laughing At You: Paris Hilton Might Face 90 Days In The Hoosegow

Illustration for article titled Were Laughing At You: Paris Hilton Might Face 90 Days In The Hoosegow

Here's a tip - if you are a mutli-gazillionaire-ess, pay someone to drive you around. Seriously, hire Colin McRae or any of the three Los Jalops that live in LA to hoon you about in your drophead Bentley GTC. So what if Bumbeck fills the rear seats with mid-eighties rising sun spare parts? At least you won't go to effing jail. Or better yet, hire someone whose sole job it is to whisper in your ear that if your license has suspended because you got nailed while driving drunk, it is best not to speed around the Westside at night with your headlights off. Even better, donate all you are worth to stem cell research in hopes that they can find a cure for vapidness, idiocy and awfulness. What's that? Right, herpes, too.

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Prosecutors push to revoke Paris' probation [Associated Press]

Related:
Paris Hilton Violates Probation, Gets Bentley Continental GTC Hauled Away In West Hollywood [Internal]

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DISCUSSION

johncanderson-old
JohnCAnderson

Here's a little ditty I wrote in honor of Paris's being parked in the pokey, sometime soon—-

IF THERE IS A GOD.

HILTON'S IN THE HOOSEGOW NOW

Hilton's in the Hoosegow now

tell me ya'll whataya think

is she gettin' champagne to drink

now that Paris is in the clink

is she gettin' champagne to drink

and caviar in that "thar" clink

or is this privileged daughter

being force fed—-

BREAD AND WATER

ladee dadee da da da

Paris is in the Clink

Hilton's in the Hoosegow now

tell me ya'll whataya think

are the underwear she's wearin' pink

now that Paris is in the Clink

are the underwear she's wearin' pink

or maybe burlap brown

are the lesbians pullin' 'em down

now that Paris is in the Clink

ladee dadee da da da

Paris is in the clink

May 5, 2007