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This image was lost some time after publication.

Unless it's something like "Fuel Injection Spl." or "Really Crazy-Go-Nuts Devourer of Bonneville Salt," we've generally not seen the allure of naming cars. We did once, as part of a larger joke, name our 1970 Buick Skylark "The Millennium Falcon," but we were like 21 then, and 21-year-olds are notoriously stupid. Meanwhile, in the UK, the most popular names for cars are Freddie, Babe, Charlie, Henry, Rita, Cleo, Jasper, Girl and Gilbert. But the most popular name? Betsie. This choice singlehandedly explains the fall of the British Empire: they think of everyone as a 77-year-old pensioner living in a flat owned by her son-in-law.


The Sex of Cars [Carkeys, UK]

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My parents named their first car — a VW beetle — Fritz. They thought of it as their first child. They eventually sold it, so I figure I'm in line next.

My current car is named Ralph. My partner named it. All of my computers have been named some form of Ezekial. That's just they way things are.

So I don't think my priorities are askew. Somethings get names, somethings shouldn't — like infants, who wants to gender their lives in that way so early?