Watch This School Bus Drift Around The High School Parking Lot

When I went to high school, schoolbuses were ubiquitously referred to as the cheesewagon or loser cruiser. And for good reason: they were the social equivalent of having a third nipple. But we didn't have a bus like the Nitro Bus.

Ok, so it's not a real schoolbus, but how rad would it be if your to- and from-school rides — before you're old enough to get your own car and do all kinds of ridiculous shit in it — were massive hoon fests? Ah, one can dream. It wouldn't have made western civ suck less, but it would've given us something else to daydream about as we lit pieces of each others' notebooks on fire in the back of the room.

(Hat tip to Dillon!)

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DISCUSSION

I was masturbating at the park earlier when I decided I wanted to drive around and mimic the calls of endangered sea birds. I took my gloves off, zipped up, and hopped in the Wrangler. I drove towards the highway and got on the entrance ramp. BAM I hear screeching tires and I see some dude in a white car sliding across two lanes with his middle finger out. I managed to contain my erection after seeing something as bad ass and ridiculous as that, I mean like you usually only see that sort of stuff on the internet or maybe in an alternative life style magazine.

I decided it was time to race so I dropped it into second and immediately busted my rear diff wide open. I pushed the car to the side of the road and surveyed the damage. There was fluid everywhere, metal shavings were stuck in the body panels, there was a metal chunk sticking out of my arm and it was snowing. Worst day ever right? WRONG, I brought my swiss army knife today so I pulled out the magic wand attachment and fixed that shit in like 30 seconds.

Back in the car I continued my pursuit of the man in the iron mask other car. I was weaving in and out of traffic trying to keep up with the other guy (the wrangler has problems getting above 40mph if its windy out). Casually clipping mirrors off and then fixing them with my magic swiss army knife as I drove by, real punk rock stuff. I could feel the rear tires about to break loose from the raw power my car possesses so I flicked it into the guard rail and rolled it over the over pass. The car began to roll and I could see the traffic below me every 3-5 rotations (I have a hard time following fast movement), school buses. 50 of them. mother of god.

I was falling at them faster than the speed of sound so I did the only thing I could. I put the car in 3rd and floored it. The tires spun so fast that they created a high pressure pocket of air that I was able to drive away on, narrowly missing the school buses (which exploded anyway for some reason). I never did find that guy in the other car, but I did find out that I should drive Formula 1 in real life because like I know what I’m doing