VW Considering Crushing Anything Worth A Damn At Porsche

Illustration for article titled VW Considering Crushing Anything Worth A Damn At Porsche

Autocar's printing filthy rumors saying VW's planning to foist an R4-platformed car onto Stuttgart as a Porsche 356. Sure, everybody likes the idea of a 356, but not when it's a bastardized, pudgy, nostalgia-riding, baby-boomer-targeted beige-mobile.

Remember the second Audi E-Tron from this latest Detroit Auto Show this year? We'll forgive you if you've forgotten. It was the one which looked cool but stole pretty much everything under the skin of the first E-tron and shaped it like a bastard son of the R8 and the TT. Well Autocar is claiming VW is eyeballing that platform for both a new Audi called the R4 and a rebirth of the Porsche 356. Call us curmudgeons, but some things should just not be done. The Porsche 356 was lightning in a bottle, a one-time deal which can only disappoint if revisited.

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Do we pine for a super lightweight, simple, entry-level sports car modeled after the original 356? Sure, but it's called the Cayman, and Porsche is pricing it above where it should be and artificially limiting its potential performance already. A car below it attempting to steal the spotlight of an automotive luminary can only succeed in disappointing. [Autocar]

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DISCUSSION

A quick look at wikipedia (I have no shame) made me learn the heaviest 356 weighed about 1000 kg (2200 lb), and the most powerful engine was a 130 hp 2.0. So if you want to built a 356-like modern car, this is what you should look at.

Now take a look at the VW Scirocco. Available with gas engines ranging from 122 hp to 265 hp (with the 265 hp version being a 2.0), similar length as the 356, and weighing about 1250-1300 kg. Upgrade the suspension, get rid of about 100 kg and some of the luxuries, redesign the exterior to make it Porsche-worthy, and you've go yourself a new 356.

But just don't call it the 356!

Edit: And put the engine in the back