Halloween is scant weeks away, which means it's time to start seeing all manner of inane sexificated women's Halloween costumes. Sure, you can be a sexy slice of pizza or a "sultry SWAT officer," but what if you're a gearhead? A sexy gearhead? Well, we're here to help.

Yes, we're proud to introduce the Jalopnik Hypersexy Superhot Line of Car-Related Carstumes Costumes. If you or a woman you care about wants to project just that right image of fierce automotive interest and an almost pathologically desperate sense of holiday hypersexualization, then we have such a perfect collection for you.

You know how to ignite a party, and there's no better way to do it than in our adorable Spark Plug costume. You can even set the gap on the hat to your optimal setting for maximum fuel combustion!

Bodice is made from real aluminum and steel and is completely stab-proof, so it's a great choice for partying in crime-ridden neighborhoods.

Not to be worn in areas with a lot of high-tension power lines.

Blink, blink, blink! Everyone will know which way you turn in this kicky amber Turn Indicator costume. Real orange LEDs keep you blinking and visible at night, with on/off switches embedded in the two darling boob-arrows.

For the real hardcore gearheads, it's hard to beat this super-sexy ABS plastic ECU costume.

Advertisement

Yes, you can be sexy AND smart as you dress up like the brains behind your engine management system.

How much fun-fuel do you want to inject in your Halloween? With this Sexy ECU costume, you'll always have the answer!

Note: Sitting is not possible in Sexy ECU costume.

If you're looking for something really sexy and really different, look no further than our Sexy Washer Fluid Bottle costume. Filled with real, high-grade washer fluid, this costume will catch the disco lights and keep you hydrated all night long!

Advertisement

WARNING: Fluid is highly toxic and should not be ingested. When filled, costume weighs well over 125 lbs.

You love cars. Sexy cars. And what's sexier than a primo, royal blue 1975 Ford Granada? Nothing, that's what.

Advertisement

Jalopnik auto experts consulted every possible resource to find the ideal sexy, sexy car to make into a explosively sextastic sexy costume, and I think you'll agree the results are sextacularily sexcceptable.

Sex!