Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Ultima is claimed in its ad to be faster than a Bugatti Veyron, and in fact the fastest car... in the World. This one’s also about 2.5% of the Bugatti’s price new, but you’ll still need to decide if that price will have it going fast.

Let’s think about some questionable possessions. There’s the Harbor Freight Fleshlight, McFugu sushi from McDonalds, and, at least according to 60% of you, yesterday’s 2002 Audi S4 stuffed to the gils with the marque’s 4.2 V8.

Maybe it was the Benz wheels, maybe it was the ill-fitting hood, or just maybe it was the whole thought of Audi’s well-earned reputation for fragility and horrific expense coupled with a private party install that scared the beejeezus out of a majority of you.

You know what else might just scare you? How about launching from a dead stop to over sixty miles an hour in 2.8 seconds? No? You’re good with that? Okay, Superman, how about an 800-bhp small block throbbing viciously just inches from your ass, ready to send you either down the road or into that big oak tree over there, not caring which? Does that give your butt a good and righteous pucker?

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Oh man, you’re all a bunch of cool cats, and because you don’t scare easy, today we’re going to look at a 2002 Ultima GTR, a car that offers Veyron-level performance without the stigma of using the same key fob as your neighbor’s teenage daughter’s New Beetle convertible. Ohmahgawd!

The Ultima is the product of Ultima Sports Ltd of Hinckley, Leicestershire, England, which I believe is also where a lot of Stilton cheese comes from so good on them. Unlike the cheese, the cars are available in both turn-key and kit form, and feature a sort of old school tube-frame chassis onto which an IMSA-style GRP body is dropped.

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This one is claimed to have been professionally-built and in fact doesn’t seem to exhibit any amateurish or half-assed aspects, at least in the pics provided. The ad notes that the car comes with aviation-grade fasteners, a ceramic-coated exhaust, and massive OZ Racing wheels.

It also apparently comes with A/C although it seems that needs a charge. Other nods to civility include lumbar supports in the racing buckets, a decent turning radius, and road, not race, clutch and brake action.

In fact, while not explicitly stated, this super car does seem set up for the road - the very open road. That’s going to be needed to exercise the claimed 800-ponies from the 427 SBC in the back. Power from the big Chevy mill is routed through a Porsche G50, which as you might know is one of the German company’s most sought-after 5-speed Getrag boxes.

It might be street, but to body is all Go Speed Racer, Go. These cars are kitten-fart light at only about 2,100 pounds, and the kit is rather parsimonious. Still, it seems to have everything you’d need, and not much you needn’t.

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Visually, the black paint doesn’t seem to have any observable flaws, and with only 1,100 miles on the car, there’s probably not much wear underneath either. It’s claimed to have a clean title, however it does seem to be located in Florida, and as I’ve noted before, if she had wheels you could title your Grandma in the Sunshine State.

The seller claims the car cost over one-hundred grand to build, and as such things go, it’s now being offered at a fraction of that. The eBay Buy It Now is $59,000 and we now need to decide if that’s the performance deal of the century, or if that price is as high as the GTR’s top limit.

You decide!

eBay out of Florida, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to Marcus Short for the hookup!

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