Most of us spend months, maybe years, of our lives behind the wheel of a car. In that time you see some pretty crazy shit. Jalopnik readers had a few ideas about what's not cool while driving.

Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!


Unfortunately it's a jungle out there, and a steering wheel won't make people smarter. In fact, quite the opposite.

No matter if it's a robot or your special someone who makes the journey more comfortable, just keep your hands on the steering wheel and your eyes on the road. That's the basic idea, which appears to be too complicated for some people out there.

Our readers have seen everything on list list out on the road, an you probably have, too. The worst part is how often you see crap like this. Just let us go to sleep and wake us up when everyone's in a driverless car and we don't have to worry about people slurping soup at 80 miles an hour.


Good luck on the road, you'll need it thanks to following fine examples of human stupidity:

Photo Credit: the mad, mad, mad, mad world of Russian dash cams

10.) Getting a blowjob

It's a great idea if you stop somewhere, but while on the road, it's not just irresponsible, but also quite dangerous for your wiener. Imagine it during a sudden accident...

Suggested By: Speedmonkey

9.) Eating

I guess it's fine as long as it's a cheeseburger on the run, but when you're having a more complicated meal, you also gonna have a bad time. Thiscrapsucks35 came up with a deadly combination:

Eating McDonalds pancakes while driving. Yeah, using a plastic knife and fork to apply butter, then syrup, then cut, eat, and enjoy... all while operating a moving vehicle. Automatic transmission btw.

Suggested By: Everybody , Photo Credit:Bigstock

8.) Reading

Our very own Patrick has a good one about the time when he was a reporter in Austin:

I used to commute every day to San Marcos, the town where Texas State University is located.

Right hand to God, at least once per week I would see a driver with a textbook or notes on the steering wheel, trying to do some last minute reading or cramming before class.

While they were driving. On the Interstate. Usually going 80 mph or more. Stuff like that really makes you think.

Suggested By: Patrick George, Photo Credit: Shutterstock

7.) Trusting the machines

Modern cars are full of devices that can correct most of our mistakes in order to keep us alive. Still, becoming overconfident can have terrible results. POD had this to say:

With all the driving nannies they put in cars now days I think people forget all to easily just how complex a task driving actually is. Many drives now days almost count on the car to do everything for them (I think this adds to the false belief that drivers can multi-task behind the wheel).

Suggested By: POD, Photo Credit: Bosch

6.) Shaving (your private area)

Meet Megan Mariah Barnes, who decided it was a great idea to shave her bikini line on the way to her new boyfriend. The twist? Her ex was holding the wheel from the passenger seat. Sounds like a happy family, but shit happened.

Suggested By: My X-type is too a real Jaguar, Photo Credit: Shutterstock

5.) Texting

Get offline while driving, or Guy Meurice will get you:

I was on a ring road doing about 40 when the car in the left lane (only two lanes) swerved into me. Luckily I saw him coming and got out of the way, beeping my horn. I went to overtake to remove myself from the situation to have him do it again. This time I swerved off the road (luckily there was space for me). I overtook again and saw he was texting. Still texting after nearly running me off the road twice. I was livid, so I beeped my horn again and when I looked I mouthed "I will kill you".

I swear he nearly wet himself. I don't usually condone threatening to kill people, but it's preferable to manslaughter charges I think. He was a young driver so hopefully he was petrified enough not to text again while driving, and I saved a few lives, though somehow I don't think so.

Suggested By: Guy Meurice, Photo Credit: Bigstock

4.) Removing your steering wheel

Stupidity turned to eleven. Civic drivers are something else, but not in a good way.

Suggested By: Gamecat235, Photo Credit: Imgur

3.) Getting drunk and/or high

Booze, drugs, or just your teenage hormones turning you into a moron, doesn't matter. If you're unfit to get behind the wheel, don't play with fire. Still, crystal meth is the worst.

Suggested By: slebano4244 and everybody

2.) Not going with the flow

The most common mistake is to think slow is actually safer. Brian, The Life of believes that "driving slower than the flow of traffic in the fast lane contributes to more accidents and road rage than anything". Well said!

Suggested By: Brian, The Life of, Photo Credit: Getty Images

1.) Falling Asleep

It's a quite obvious winner. Acting crazy behind the wheel is one thing, but being unconscious means you've just lost control without even knowing about it. If you feel tired, just stop for a coffee. Feels good, saves lifes.

Suggested By: Everyone, Photo Credit: Shutterstock