The Z4 sDrive 35iS is many things: A convertible. A hardtop. A grand touring machine that, we can only assume, does a passable imitation of a sports car. Is it an M car? No. Should you care? No.

Our own Matt Hardigree once called the Z4 sDrive 35iS the "Z4 sDrive35isLongMsport7SpeedAüto," but frankly, we don't find that name descriptive enough. We're going to go with something a bit more formal: How about Dr. Ing h.f. Z4 sDrive35isLongMsport7SpeedAütoMotorUndFastenÄss III, Son of FastenÄss II and Contested Heir To The FastenÄss Throne?

Yeah, that works. Just has to roll off the tongue. Bring on the next challenge! Porsche Direct-Dial Emergency-Line Phone Number For Make-Talk Calling, anyone? How about a Chevrolet Ship That Does Small-Battle In Ocean-Water Fastly With The Quickness? This is easy! We could go into marketing, you know? Too much natural talent.


(What you see here is an angrier version of the ordinary Z4, complete with a 340-hp turbocharged six and an overboost function that offers 369 lb-ft of torque. 62 mph arrives in 4.8 seconds. It's not the return of the M Z4, but it's as close as we're likely to get.)