Normally, I don’t consider myself a genocidal maniac, but if I had the opportunity, resources, and necessary permits, I’d genocide the hell out of mosquitoes. Fuck mosquitoes. I wish I had a an orbiting satellite that could emit a beam that converts mosquitoes into fireflies en masse. Keeping in mind that mosquitoes…
An Abilene, Texas Jeep Liberty owner received a warning from police for his absolutely inexplicable decision to strap an entire washing machine to his hood, completely obscuring his vision ahead of the car. The Jeep has a seemingly intact roof rack, on a seemingly intact roof. Why didn’t he strap it to the roof? What…
Life, as glorious as it is, with its access to tacos and puppies and orgasms, is still a colossal ass-pain. That’s why I can’t begrudge this guy in St. Louis too much for doing what he did. Sure, driving a car with a roller jack instead of an actual front wheel isn’t exactly safe, but I suspect nobody would do this…
This is a Craigslist post from Rhode Island selling a 1993 Mazda Protege. That shouldn’t be a big deal. But this Protege, while it appears to be in quite good shape, is missing something. Specifically, it’s missing well over a foot and a half of Mazda Protege. And, what makes it even more incredible is that this fact…
I know it’s been a while, but I think it’s time for another installment of Imaginary Car from an Imaginary Country. Today, I want to tell you about the inspirational people of Golminea, the country forbidden to build cars, and the cars that they built.
“Coner” is what hip, young squirrels call their pine cone-obsessed peers; if you’ve ever spent any time in the tree branches of America’s forests and suburbs, this sort of branch-slang is probably familiar to you. Hardcore coners often do some crazy shit, like this Michigan-area conehead squirrel who crammed some poor…
If you’re like me, an idiot with ten grand to blow on a dream of dying in the stupidest way possible, then you owe it to yourself to check out Hammacher Schlemmer’s latest rich-dumbass gift: a $9,990 electric three-wheeled deathtrap that can go 75 mph!
When you’re doing a bunch of yardwork, there’s certain things you expect to find: roots, bits of rock, the remains of your neighbor’s Pomeranian you forgot to feed for a week and told them ran away, maybe some old bottles. What you don’t expect to find are the rusty remnants of a 1949 Daimler Consort, but that’s…
We’ve seen plenty of dramatic and terrifying videos of car wrecks, but this one has to be one of the most fundamentally maddening and frustrating ones I’ve ever seen. There’s really no other way to put this other than these two trucks were wrecked because of the potent presence of a genuine moron on the highway. Watch…
Here’s the story: a man owns a Fiat Tempra, but finds that the car just isn’t running as well as it should be. Something’s clearly up, so he decides to investigate and give the engine a thorough looking-over. Eventually, he removes the head from the engine and discovers three normal, metal-alloy pistons, happily…
Here’s a warning: this whole story is absolutely, maddeningly baffling. It’s the story of a man who bought a 1967 Cadillac Coupe DeVille as a project car that he hoped would be a surprise for his dad. It’s the story of truly staggering incompetence on the part of the car haulers, or perhaps a local tow company. It’s…
Yesterday, in a speech given to donors in Missouri, President Trump had something to say about cars. And Japan. And bowling balls. Specifically, he suggested that, in Japan, they like to drop bowling balls on cars. I wish I was making this up, because it’s comedy gold. But it’s real, and the President really suggested…
I mean, if you think about it, this should make complete sense. The cold never bothers Elsa, anyway. Even so, pushing a stuck Boston police truck out of a snowbank in a blizzard is no picnic, especially in a full gown. Despite the difficulty, this 37-year-old man dressed as a Disney ice princess did manage to get the…
I just want to be clear that I’m not against strapping big things to the roofs of little cars to move them. I’ve done it myself. But, if you’re going to do this kind of risky thing, you have to do it right. A huge, wind-catching aluminum box held to a curved roof with no roof rack and just one rope is absolutely not…
Here’s a thought for you to occupy your Friday afternoon while you try to look like you’re working: what if you could breed cars like animals? What if you had a full car-ranch, and using the same principles of animal husbandry and genetics that humans have been using to breed animals for millennia, you could breed…
Incredibly, nobody was killed in this bizarrely impressive wreck, so you can be grimly amazed without all the guilt. A driver, who admitted to being under the influence of drugs, managed to launch a Nissan Altima through the wall of a second-story dentists’ office in Santa Ana, CA.
I realized that it’s been forever since we’ve done an automotive Would You Rather, so let’s take care of that, right now. Remember, this is the sort of thing your brain needs, right there along with frequent cerebellum massages. So let’s get to it!
Wood paneled surf wagons from the late-40s and early-50s are undoubtedly cool. Mercury Sable station wagons are not cool. “But what if you combined them” you ask to the frightened man sitting next to you on the bus. He quickly looks away.
Mike Mistry was just your regular old parking lot attendant, working for the local municipality, and now he’s been fired just because they found an incredibly famous king buried in his parking lot. Sad, but true!
The Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles got all of America as their Secret Santa gift-ee, and they’ve given us a wonderful gift: a list of all 330 rejected personalized license plates. Some suggest dirty words, or body parts you’re not supposed to show people in public! Some reveal a deep misanthropy among Ohioans! One says…
