This is a Suzuki Twin with a deeply disturbing “smile bumper” (スマイルバンバー or sumairu banpaa) that probably should not exist. But yet, it does.

If there’s one constant truth in the Disney Pixar films, it’s that Cars will never make sense. Every Cars movie that comes out only adds to the confusion, and the latest tidbits that’ll stick a potato in your tailpipe have to do with why there are no motorcycles in Cars world, but there are fairy tales.

Cars 2 was not a classic film. It was unfocused and a bit too dependent on plot rather than characters. But it was a solid film. It had great action set pieces and ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ humor. And it doesn’t deserve the death by omission it is currently enduring.

They all said I was crazy to ask the real questions. When I proposed theories, they called me a madman and pelted me with rocks and garbage. When I took my questions right to the top levels, I was told to let it go, already. Now, it seems, I’m not alone at all. And I will never let go trying to get to the truth of the …

You may recall that I confronted the brains behind Pixar’s Cars franchise about the difficult conceptual issues inherent in the Cars universe. That was a partial success. Now, I’d like to show you a conversation I had with the people behind the visual look of Cars 3. It’s a bit more fun, and a bit less disturbing.

As you may be aware, I’m very interested in the rich, complex world Pixar has created for the Cars series of movies. Maybe a little too interested. The movies, while enjoyable as simply fun animated movies about cars, nevertheless bring up a great deal of complex issues when given greater scrutiny. Now I’ve finally…

The baffling (and increasingly disturbing) Cars 3 is all about an intergenerational rivalry between the upstart Jackson Storm (Armie Hammer) and the old star Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson). In this trailer, it’s not just the technologically new and superior Jackson that isn’t good—it’s apparently every bit of new…

Every time a new Cars 3 trailer comes out, it seems that more and more unsettling questions come up. We just finished reeling from the complicated and disturbing implications of a school bus character, and now this new trailer just adds to the madness. Let’s scrutinize. Together.

One of the biggest perks of this job is interacting with our readers, who are always amazing. How amazing? This amazing: one of our readers, named CJ, went through a considerable amount of trouble to Cars-ize the cars of some of us writers!

Based on what we’ve been told, nothing good is happening in Cars 3. Or, at the very least, nothing simple.

In ruling that Chinese film The Autobots was an illegal copy of Disney and Pixar Animation’s Cars, a Shanghai court fined the movie’s producing and distributing companies $190,000 and ordered them to cease the copyright infringement. But even now, The Autobots’ director continues to say he’s never seen Cars.

And not in the “We finally find out how they reproduce” kind of way.

Everyone, relax. I know things have been tense, but I assure you that everything is now under control. I say this because I can now report with confidence that we have successfully determined the year and model of the Volkswagen Beetle sitting on the ocean floor in Pixar’s latest movie, Finding Dory. We’re going to be…

I believe I’ve made my position regarding one of the most important philosophical issues known to mankind, where the eyes of an anthropomorphized car should be, abundantly clear: the headlights. The eyes of a car-face are the headlights. This is the right answer, the just answer, the moral answer.

Well, weirder than it was already. Early in the development of the movie, Pixar had the idea for a world entirely inhabited by cars. Which is neat! Until you want the anthropomorphized vehicles to interact with the world around them, at which point they don’t actually have hands.

This is The Autobots. It’s due out next month in Chinese theaters. The Autobots, eh? But it’s not just the title that seems familiar...

What if, instead of making beloved movies like Toy Story, Wall-E, and Up, everyone's favorite CGI film studio Pixar had been swallowed up by General Motors? It sounds insane, but it almost happened had it not been for the timely intervention of one of America's most famous living billionaire/failed presidential…