How to look humble and handsome. Goodnight.

It’s things like this that convince me I can probably speak Dutch if I just talk sorta funny. “Dat is de Simca 1500?” Are they kidding? 

Happy Monday! It’s the start of a new week, and if there’s a better way to begin a week than with a picture of a somber-faced woman in hot pants and leather boots about to do some deeply strange things to a Zastava 750 (an Eastern Bloc version of a Fiat 600 with a slightly bigger engine) then I sure as hell don’t know…

It’s Friday! The day we all traditionally like to dress up, get into our cars, drive out into the woods and find a young wood nymph or forest sprite and tell them all about the latest big, heavy books we’ve been reading! Just park anywhere and set out a bowl of honey-infused pixie-water and they’ll show up, then you…

I heard the original plan was to go with an ad that referenced the scouring powder that comes in the can that’s the same color green as the parmesan cheese instead of the astronomical phenomenon. I guess this was a better choice.

Who remembers the awesome early ‘80s CBS show Windbreaker and Fern? It was about a guy who dressed like a Safeway night manager and this talking houseplant with ESP that was really a reincarnated Dutch wizard, and they’d go out and solve crimes in a very well-maintained Econoline? Why isn’t this on Netflix yet?

I never minded the look of the Mini Clubman, but it is sort of the automotive equivalent of how that girl from Dirty Dancing seems to have a totally different face now. The face isn’t bad, it’s just, you know, not what you remember.

In 1973, many Buicks were air-dropped in remote locations that they were in no way capable of being driven out of. Descendants of the people seen in this photograph still live in that Buick to this day. 

Ah, Tuesday! The day of the week that, were it a character on an original Star Trek episode, would have worn a red shirt and been dead before the first commercial break. For this Tuesday I’d like to give you this cutaway drawing of a 1945 Morris Eight, which has the most convoluted description of a trunk ever: “inbuilt…

It’s cherry-red and drew every eye on the street. Normally, all the attention would have made me nervous, but the Acura NSX is good enough that I didn’t care. What a car.

Nothing to see here. Just a guy in dark clothes driving a Lincoln Continental Mark III coupé parked on the dock by the lake at 6 AM, holding a rag and looking at you like he wants you gone, right fucking now. Maybe we should just go. Right? Let’s just go. Come on. Shit, he’s walking over here! Go go go go go

It’s Friday! You did it! Another week of glorious triumphs, each day a crowing achievement that eclipsed the last. You’re astounding. That’s why you deserve this image of the Brazilian-market Dodge Magnum, with that really fascinating B-pillar treatment and split vinyl roof. You’re worth it.

So, look at that picture of this Goliath GP700. That dog is clearly calling the shots there, right? That upright posture, that determined face! The dog is telling that woman where to drive. Maybe they’re solving crimes.

Remember when Australia was populated with 3/4th-scale humans that made Austin A50s look colossal? Good times. 

I’d be smiling too if I thought the Citroën Berlingo Coupe de Plage was what the future of the automobile was going to look like. You can see more of this majestic work-van-turned-’90s-dream-car on Favcars, Concept Carz or Daniel Golson’s Twitter.

Hey! It’s me, and I got you a whole new week to try out! I think you’ll be pleased—it has a Wednesday in the middle, just like you like, and I was going to put in two Fridays, but they said I can’t do that. Sorry. Anyway, I was able to get you this picture of a lovely Tatra T87, the later one with more integrated…

Friday is here! You know what that means, right? That’s the day we look at Winnebago upholstery choices and think of what they remind us of! Today’s example, this 1972 Winnebago Chieftain D-27 CL, has a fabric choice that looks almost exactly like when you make an open-faced grilled cheese in the toaster oven, and the…

Ah, the ideal first date! Go in your Studebaker Hawk to see where the chemtrails come from, so you can both really huff the freshness! The mind-control feels so much crisper when it’s fresh from the plane!

Thanks to the internet and, according to the Boomer-age unpaid intern we have helping me find morning Blip images in our basement pile of documents, Millennials, physical car brochures are almost gone. That’s a shame, because some were once amazing, like this flip-brochure for the Volkswagen Type 3 Karmann Ghia 1500.

From this picture, it looks like Polski Fiat didn’t reserve an area or even bother telling the city they were doing a photoshoot. Just go into traffic about 8 am and take the pictures, it’ll be fine! The buses and trollies or whatever will wait.