Ever since the U.S. military started pawning its ratty old Humvees off on the public through surplus auctions, people have been wondering how good they really are as off-road toys. I mean, we already know they’re suboptimal for city traffic. Anyway, here’s a peek at how to make one of these metal monsters sing.
Once again, North America finds itself addicted to trucks and SUVs, spurred on by cheap gas. What we lack is a rolling symbol of this phenomenon; the last time it happened, it was without question the Hummer H2.
I was going through AP’s “Today In History” image segment earlier and came across this photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger debuting the Hummer H2 truck back in 2001. What a time.
When I die, I think this is what my tombstone will say: Here lies Doug DeMuro. Crushed a PT Cruiser with a Hummer.
Most used Hummers look like they’re demanding somewhere between $60,000 and $100,000 on eBay. This one, complete with a menagerie of custom options including an external public address system featuring three sirens, just sold for $337,144. It probably helps that its first owner was Tupac Shakur.
The New Jersey State Police has confirmed that at least one military vehicle has rolled over and landed on its roof on the Brunswick Turnpike in South Brunswick this afternoon. The road is closed and a rescue helicopter has transported one person with serious injuries to a hospital.
People of Jalopnik, I have sold my Hummer. Yes, that’s right: my giant, slow, loud, gas-guzzling, unreliable behemoth of a Hummer is now officially someone else’s problem. I am ecstatic, as is the Southeastern Pennsylvania office of the Environmental Protection Agency.
I recently spent an afternoon mired in the kind of fear that only really comes when you believe you’re staring down the barrel of certain death. It happened a few weeks ago, when I took my Hummer off-roading with a Jalopnik reader named Phil.
Have you ever wanted to test the drag racing capabilities of an 8,000-pound vehicle that’s shaped like a file cabinet? I have. And that’s how my friend Matt and I ended up spending last Tuesday night drag racing my Hummer at Atco Raceway in suburban New Jersey.
I recently took my Hummer to CarMax for an appraisal, which was carried out by several helpful, perky CarMax employees who clearly thought I was certifiably insane.
When you own an original Hummer, you get a lot of questions. Why is it so big? Why do you need a vehicle like this? Do you have any regard for the environment? Are you a complete idiot? Well today, you’re in for a treat, because I’ve decided to ignore all of these pressing issues and instead tell you how I get my…
I recently had the opportunity to take my Hummer to New York City. This was a highly unusual experience, and it felt a lot like showing up at the dog park with an elephant. First, you want to play with everyone else. But then, you realize you might accidentally crush them.
My Hummer recently caused me great embarrassment and shame. This is in addition to the great embarrassment and shame that you already get from merely owning a Hummer.
General Motors announced the recall of 196,379 Hummers for fire risk. Three people suffered minor burns due to the issue, and GM said earlier today those were the only fires related to the issue. Now it’s come out that 42 fires have been reported.
I recently had the opportunity to find out what random strangers on the street think about my Hummer. I did this from a safe distance, observing through a lens, like a field biologist trying to assess zebra mating patterns.
I was so excited when Doug DeMuro invited me to off-road his Hummer! Of course when I got to his house; “Hah, no, I’m not paying for gas to drive all the way to the woods. Don’t worry. I got some fun roads for you to try.” ...I should seen the red flags right there.
GovPlanet has been auctioning off surplus military Hummers to the masses for months now, but buyers were hard-pressed to get them road legal. Starting now, all these trucks will be sold with “SF97;” a form you can take to the DMV to get a regular title and license plates.
