Loving cars is one thing, making love to cars is very different. Edward Smith is a man who is sexually attracted to cars, which is a totally normal thing that I'm sure afflicts literally dozens of people. Well, he's found the car he loves most: A VW Beetle. I hear wedding bells!
As if it wasn't already clear, the three men atop American-flavored Top Gear are in love with cars to an unhealthy degree. Tanner Foust once offered to race our press Lincoln MKT and Rutledge Wood, of course, sold me his damn car. They are like us, the only question is to what degree?
When the world's great auto makers leave you wanting, maybe it's time to go it alone with a kit car. And if your yearnings extend to gull wings and Asiatic dragons then perhaps it's time for this Nice Price or Crack Pipe Bradley GT II. You might however, hanker for it having a lower price.
Our sister site obsessed with all things sci-fi has a top ten list of dragons that doesn't include our own Ray Wert. Ask them to fix that egregious wrong in their comments. I mean, he's the most powerful dragon.
While other states try to keep personalized vanity plates off the road, Texas auctions desirable combinations. Last night's winner: "FERRARI," at a record-setting $15,000. Big loser: The Jalopnik reader who paid $7,750 for the "DRAGONS" rear license plate.
Hands off gentlemen, this Sequoia belongs to a dragon.
Where Ray is a forceful, selfish dragon, Matt's all about giving the Audi e-tron what it needs. Ultimately, this explains why Ray has a series of tumultuous relationships with many different cars where Matt's settled in for the long term.
In Russia, a drink with 6.0% alcohol-by-volume is considered a low-alcohol beverage. Also, women drive around with their eyes closed drinking something called "China Town" with dragons on their laps. Silly Russians, the dragon goes outside the car. [Copyranter]
As previously documented, a dragon is someone with a special "attachment" to cars. We love cars, but dragons "love cars." It's also used as a verb. Thus, assuming a sudden loss of shame, what car would you like to "dragon?"
The whole thing's on YouTube, so there's six parts. We've embedded the first above the jump and here's links to the rest. In case all this piques your interest in a way that you really, really shouldn't tell us about, here's Sex With Cars: A Tutorial.
Our obsession with cars pales in comparison to this Washington state man, who admits to "sexual relations" with over 1,000 cars. If ever there was a dragon, this mechaphiliac would be it.
...or are you just happy to see us?
Huh. Guess this whole time we've been wrong about the term "Autoeroticism." Who knew?
Highlights are at 30 seconds, 2:30 and pretty much everywhere in between. Make sure you have a sturdy book ready to um ... just get it ready.
If you were one of the 12 people who watched "Southland Tales" then you know what's coming: a pair of SUVs. Literally. And yes, it's NSFW.
Rule 34 states that, on the Internet, dirty stuff exists for any conceivable subject. Dragons proves that rule to be true. When we first brought you images of dragons doing their thing last year, we never thought it would grow into the meme it has, but, for good or bad, it looks like they’re here to stay. In their…
What do a dragon sculpture on the back of a truck made to look like it's always staring you down and a cell phone have in common? Yeah, nothing, but apparently that's one way the Samsung Soul is being marketed across southern England. A Ford Transit with a dragon on it's back. Let the jokes start in 3... 2... 1... (…
It must be car sex day around these parts because now another dragon has surfaced in Scotland. An 18-year-old is being accused of running around his Crannog Way, Kilwinning neighborhood naked and humping every vehicle in sight. Callum Ainsworth, the dragon in question, has denied the accusations and will face a trial…
Hmm. How to go about this delicately? Terry Kenney is the inventor of something called the "Dragon Power Station", it's a system of plates and hydraulic compressors taking advantage of the weight of passing semis to convert potential energy to electricity. The system is embedded in the road around low speed areas and…
