Volkswagen has plans to run a car up Pikes Peak, but can it be trusted?

Here at Serious Car Lifestyle Daily, we take cars and car lifestyle serious, every day. That’s why, when we test the latest and greatest cars, including the all-new, super reasonable 2017 Dodge Charger SRT©, we only do it with hundreds of real, goddamn beautiful horses. No other outlet can bring you that accuracy.

Earlier today we talked about how Harley-Davidson is in trouble because the only people who like and still buy their motorcycles seem to be old white men, which is a diminishing audience, according to actuarial tables at least. One commenter had a different theory.

Some people, like our very own Kristen Lee, are troubled with a “quirk” that causes them to mistake cars for...not cars. Random household objects. Things without wheels. Or interiors. Or windows. When these “automobile misidentifiers” make these errors, they must be corrected.

This isn’t a funny one, this is a community one!

Sometimes it’s great to have a metaphorical well to focus all of your aggression on, like when you throw the TV remote for not working, or when you get inside almost any rental car, ever.

If you’re going to buy Chrysler’s new murdered out “S” trim of the Pacifica because you think it will make you or your family cooler, you are mistaken.

Surprise, surprise: we get emails here at Jalopnik. Sometimes them are tipsters sending in interesting tidbits of local news, sometimes they are people inquiring about our goat content and sometimes they are scammers pretending to be familiar with us! Feh!

Out of context, this is going to look really bad.

What kind of skids can you get with jet engines?

Bugatti’s celebratory “42" special edition Chiron is now meaningless. Consider trying to get your money back.

In Nissan’s imagined future, where Amazon’s Alexa and Nissan cars function as one, you’d scream at the innocuous little cylinder sitting in your house, “ALEXA! ASK NISSANCONNECT SERVICES TO UNLOCK MY ROGUE!” And then your car would unlock itself.

Some cars are often more at fault in crashes than others.

Some acts of fate are simply blessings in disguise.

Here at Jalopnik, it’s no secret that we’re very “anti-brand.” We don’t get sucked into PR campaigns and we certainly don’t tolerate shameless self-plugs that company CEOs (not really in this case) might post in our comments section.

Donkeys! I don’t let them anywhere near my personal collection of supercars. They may try and eat them!

Some weird shit may or not have gone down at Laguna Seca before this past weekend’s IMSA WeatherTech Sports Car Championship.

A Nissan GT-R went really fast recently. Like, really fast. But not before there was a serious code brown moment during its second run, where it came within inches of eating it against the wall.

If there’s anything better than a pun (and few things are) it’s commitment to a pun. Seeing it all the way through. Sparing no detail expense. This is why Deadmau5 is a master punner.

What defines normalcy? It seems like a constantly moving target and settles only upon the general consensus of whatever is typical or commonplace at the given moment.