There are no words for this calamity.

If you’ve been shooting conspiracy theory YouTube videos about Toyota’s secretive Project Portal and how it’s likely an grand experiment to develop a hybrid that runs on our precious bodily essences, I’m sorry to say you’re wrong. Project Portal is a secretive Toyota project, but it’s focused on developing a hydrogen…

Catastrophic brake malfunction, or sweet-ass semi-truck driftooo? Both, actually.

At first this simply looks like another big rig lumbering up to a refuel stop. There’s no fire and no excessive speed that we can see. So why did one of these truck tires turn into a bomb? Because Russia, probably.

Orrin Visotto, possibly the angriest man in the gentle nation of Canada, is tired of dealing with his crappy Freightliner truck, so he filmed this rant about how big a piece of garbage his big rig is. And he uses lots of expletives.

Do you compost? Rinse and separate your recycling? Yeah, getting rid of garbage is a pain. Unless your garbage is nuclear waste. Getting rid of that is apparently a production of epic proportions.

Thanks to one trucker’s dashcam, we can see how another painfully avoidable wreck happened from start to finish.

This week Volkswagen Truck & Bus announced a $256 million spend for 16.6 percent of the United States’ heavy-truck outfit Navistar, which make International Trucks and IC Bus. The plan is ostensibly for VW to help Navistar comply with diesel emissions regulations. No, really!

The driver of a big rig in Texas felt a bump and thought he had blown a tire, as KHOU News reports. As it turns out, he had crashed into a Hyundai and was dragging it (and its terrified driver) down the highway.

A highly scientific—wait, no—a Twitter poll carried out by the United Kingdom’s Freight Transport Association asked ladies if they would drive a 44-metric ton truck, and over 79% at the time of their press release responded yes. Trucks! Trucks! Trucks! Trucks!!!

Somebody spent a lot of time decorating this Scania semi-truck cab with intense illustrations of vikings, and then even more time creating an interactive 3D parking garage to let you crawl all over it from your computer. Check it!

The Nikola Motor Company came out of nowhere a few months ago with some sleek big rig renders and outrageous performance claims: 80,000 pounds of hauling for more than 1,000 miles on electric power, charged by a natural-gas turbine. Now they say they’ve figured out how to eliminate emissions completely.

On a little stretch of road in Sweden, cables have been strung up about 18 feet over the asphalt to feed trucks with electricity. While connected, the trucks will run off the grid instead of their own engines.

The former Technical Lead of Google’s autonomous car division, Anthony Levandowski, introduced “Otto” to the world yesterday. It’s a startup with the objective of making the world a better place by making big trucks drive themselves.

Somewhere in China, a man on a scooter’s quick thinking saved his bacon as tons and tons of truck came barreling down on him, after what looks like a catastrophic brake failure.

Carlisle River, Victoria, Australia: A commercial truck driver stopped to render assistance to a woman who’d damaged her car running over what looks like a downed tree trunk. While they’re chatting, another big rig comes barreling down on them and manages to hit the tree with every wheel.

Yeah, you know you can’t. Don’t even try it. Just watch.

In another episode of truck versus train: not only does the train win again, it accidentally hauls the big rig a quarter mile down the tracks before grinding to a stop.

This is what “nailed it” looks like.