Somewhere, there’s a parallel universe where they’re developing autonomous vehicles like we are, but instead of advanced computers and cameras and sensors they’re genetically engineering giants who move your car around like a kid playing with Hot Wheels and you just shout to them where you want to go.

“Hey! Car Giant 77A! I’m in the white Citroën Ami! Please take me to the 24 Hour Wicker place on Pico!”

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About the author

Jason Torchinsky

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)