Possibly embodying every millennial problem ever ("It has to be on a day that I work" — no schedule conflicts, please!), a 20-year-old woman from Muskegon, MI was caught by an undercover police officer ordering a hit on her husband because she didn't want to face the shame of divorce.
You know us millennial kids can't take embarrassment well, so instead of trying to make it work with our partners or, worse, ending an awful relationship that you probably jumped into too soon in the first place and moving on in your life with the hope that you'll meet someone better, a simple shot to the guy's head makes it all go away.
In the video above, Julia Merfeld — who in one meeting rocks a Batman hoodie, and is holding a phone with an Batman phone cover in another — meets with a supposed hit man to discuss how to off her 27-year-old husband.
Money is a key issue (she can't pay right away because "it's all in his life insurance,") but there are other problems, like the fact that she doesn't want a potential roommate to think there are problems in her neighborhood (but living with a sociopath is perfectly OK?) and doesn't want the murder to be too "messy." "I just want to make it as not suspicious as possible," says every person planning an assassination ever.
Above all is Merfeld's reasoning to off the poor guy: "As terrible as it sounds, it was easier than divorcing him. I didn't have to worry about the judgment of my family, I didn't have to worry about breaking his heart." And who says millennials are selfish?
And just when you think there might be a moment of "hey, this might be a bad idea," our hit man interrupts her self-reflection with a "Did you bring the money?" and she hands over a wrinkled $100 bill. Some of the finer details, like how exactly this guy is going to die, still haven't been ironed out at this point, by the way.
Needless to say the husband is still alive and Merfeld is facing life in prison. A sentencing date is scheduled for July 30.