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New York's Most Overprotective Car Owner Ruins His Honda To Save It

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The urban world is fraught with peril — thoughtless car-door openers, callous parking lot attendants, ham-handed parallel parkers, Chitauri. What is the new-car owner to do, other than cover his car with aftermarket protection, and don't leave his gin and tonic open to roofying when he goes to the men's room?

He can buy things! First came a rush of bumper pads like Bumper Pad, Bumper Bully, Bumper Blocker, and the not-yet-a-thing Bumper Bumper. Then, for people whose self-respect was higher than their insurance deductables, came the less-insane-looking Bumpshox.


This ready-for-NYC Honda CR-Z has all that plus some second-wave shit. Check out those Door Shox, or magnetic car door guards that pair with some sort of cable-based antitheft system.

Now there's no chance the bumpers or doors will get all dinged up when some crackhead smashes the window to steal the asshat's Manhattan Portage messenger bag.


(Hat tip to Zac from Classic Car Club Manhattan!)