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Loverman Dead of Aneurism: M5 Touring Video!!!

Oh man. We typed the headline before we watched the video. So far we're at the 3-minute mark and we've learned that the M5 wagon is made of metal, has an interior complete with seats and an engine that says "V10" on it. Snore-a-roo. There's no sound, either. Wait, we're 3:14 in and the uberest of all uber-wagons (or at least the highest reving) is starting to move. 3:26 and we finally get the engine note. It sounds like five Hyabusas taking part in an Anaconda-style sex ball (don't ask, I'm on a roll). And... you know what? Even something as truly, righteously Bruce as a frigging 500 horsepower station wagon is just murdered by low-quality, low-production, low-rent internet video. And people wonder why we like Top Gear so much. How can this be so boring? Do a donut or something. It's at the 5:30 point and I need more coffee. Still, the car sounds quite good. But why bother — what's the point? Of the video — the rationale behind the car is crystal clear. Christ this is dull. And now it's over.

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Related:
Loverman To Suffer Heart Attack: BMW Shows Official Photo of M5 Touring!!! [Internal]

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DISCUSSION

gamebreaker
GameBreaker

Whoever created that video is a cruel and sadistic bastard. I started twitching by the two minute mark. No sound, and looking at emblems drives a person crazy. Someone needs to edit that so all we get is the exhaust when it fires up and then see it moving. It's like watching Titanic. You should skip the first couple hours and go right to the good parts, the nude oil painting and the ship sinking. Heed Johnny's warning.. those are minutes I will never get back.