It’s Friday! I know it may not feel like it, since we’re all trapped in a nightmare where days bleed into one another without differentiation, like a machine extruding ground beef, forever, but I promise you it is Friday. And that means we can get in our Fiat Ritmos and drive to the Portal to Dimension Fuego, where we can finally dance with the firepeople. Yes, the elegant, erotic people of the flame, just waiting for us with their searing embraces! We’re coming, firepeople!

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!:


a machine extruding ground beef