[Witty, well-written introductory paragraph goes here]

[Insert nod to User131 for staring brilliant thread]

[Pretend there's a hilarious politically fueled comment here. Not actually inserting, don't want to deal with the headache of the replies.]

[Follow-up with further nods to LarsVargas needs to hoon more, Martin Drkos, Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole and many others for a hilarious continuation of the idea]

[Indignant reply.]

[Giant wall of text examining every mistake to the most minuscule detail.]

[Piggybacking for the inevitable COTD Nom]


[End with equally witty closing paragraph that contains one or all of the following phrases: "hopefully it will get a manual transmission," "diesel wagon," "Ferrari fire," "hopefully he'll keep his WRX out of a ditch next time."]