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What Was The Most Pointless Mod You've Ever Done To Your Car?

Illustration for article titled What Was The Most Pointless Mod Youve Ever Done To Your Car?

Look, I get it. Cars are more than just playthings for the rich and appliances for the working class. They’re as much an expression of individuality and non-conformity as any printed cotton ironic slogan t-shirt in existence, but some personal touches don’t actually mean anything, no matter how much you wish they did. That’s why I offer up this query: What’s your most pointless car modification?

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When I think of car modifications that don’t make sense, before I think of anything with my fingerprints on it, I look to friend and scruffy co-worker Raphael Orlove. Every car he owns has so much going on, pulling in every direction stylistically, aesthetically, and physically, that it’s more of a collection of parts than fully realized thought. When he owned a cheapo Lexus ES300, it had a two-and-a-half foot tall octagonal shifter that was more sex toy than automotive component. While things like this would be right at home with a Bosozoku show car or beater drift machine, this was a goddamn daily driver that suffered a small electrical fire at some point in its past. Other than the insane torque multiplying knob, the car was bone stock.

Illustration for article titled What Was The Most Pointless Mod Youve Ever Done To Your Car?
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Having it on the car wasn’t a bad thing - although I do mourn the shifter bushings, you never knew what hit you -it was a miracle that these two things even got together in the first place. It was the automotive equivalent of God’s footprints. This was monkeys typing ad infinitum and producing Shakespeare, encased in a 747 that was formed by a tornado rolling through a junkyard. It was beautiful and utterly pointless.

Now, how about you lot? What was your most pointless car modification? Feel free to comment below. I shall gaze through them and mock accordingly.

(Photo Credit: Raphael Orlove)


Tavarish is the founder of APiDA Online and writes and makes videos about buying and selling cool cars on the internet. You can also follow him on Twitter and Facebook. He won’t mind.

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DISCUSSION

This bad boy. A girl I knew in college needed me to help her with something on her car(so long ago I don’t even know what I did, this was around the early 2000s) but my reward was this... thing. At the time, I had a 97 Mitsu Galant that I entered in shows:

So I figured what the hell and wired it up. I had the sound box in my dash and the speaker/horn mounted just inside the grille. As I was buttoning everything up from the install, I hear faint music in the distance.

It was the ice cream man.

Not only did this stupid thing I just installed make animal noises, it had alarm sounds, made laser noises, AND had ice cream truck music. So I jumped in the car and started driving around the neighborhood, and to my twisted delight I saw very, very confused children(and some adults) with money in-hand, looking at this kid in a riced-out family sedan and wondering why their sweet, sugary god had forsaken them.

And on the drive back thru my neighborhood, I got the dirtiest look anyone has ever received from an ice cream man.