Have you ever looked with envy at those preening bastards who can identify the year of any classic Volkswagen Beetle at a glance? They’re so smug, with all their VW-year-identifying-gotten riches and sexual partners. Wouldn’t you like to be like them? Of course you would. I’m going to show you how.

Yes, it’s time for another Facebook Live segment, and I’m trying something new: I’ll be live in front of a whiteboard, where I’ll use the magic of funny-smelling marker on slick plastic to show you how to quickly and easily tell the year of any Beetle you’re likely to see.

If this whiteboard stuff goes over well, maybe we can try more drawing-related live segments! If not, I guess you can just join in the mass of Facebook commenters who will be going on and on about how stupid and ugly I am, and how my shirts don’t fit right and it looks like I took that hat from a hobo with terrible taste.

Okay! Let’s see what happens!