This summer both the DC Comics cinematic universe and the Marvel universe are going to war. Batman will fight Superman (with others), while team Tony Stark and team Captain America fight over America’s coveted macho superhero leadership. It should be awesome, but just how much collateral damage can we expect?
Both of these comic book movie franchises have a history of destroying ridiculous amounts of cars, towns, and entire fucking cities with almost no consequences. The newest Superman movie Man of Steel saw alien battles on the streets of Smallville and ended by leveling an entire city. The trailer for Batman V Superman promises even more metropolis-sized destruction.
Meanwhile, over in the Marvel Universe, Iron Man laid waste to some cars in his first movie, New York took a beating in The Avengers, the streets of Washington D.C. were ravaged with Bucky Barnes branded terrorism in Captain America: Winter Soldier, and an entire fucking province was lifted into the atmosphere in Avengers: Age of Ultron.
With the final trailers for the upcoming Captain America: Civil War and Batman V Superman released, it appears the previous devastating actions of our favorite destructive superheroes is catching up to them, but have they learned their lesson?
Well, from what we’ve seen so far, no. No they have not. While both films portray armies of superheros teaming up to fight each other, a battle between the two films themselves rages on: who will destroy more shit?
For whatever reason, comic book movies and movies in general love to destroy cars. Something falls from the sky? It lands on a car. Superhero needs a shield? That car over there is good. Where should we have a battle featuring giant alien robots, armies of superheros, tons of explosions, and falling buildings all in the name of saving humanity? Why not above a busy street full of people and cars?
First, the latest trailer for Batman V Superman:
When we last saw Batman in the now defunct Christopher Nolan trilogy, he was being a total dick to Gotham’s motorists, taking off mirrors on his bat-motorcycle thing and causing general chaos in the streets with the police chasing his Batmobile. When we last saw Superman, he was literally throwing cars, plowing through buildings, and destroying an entire city almost single-handed. He was also a dick to the government’s drones.
It’s those city-destroying actions that has Supes in hot water with Ben Affleck’s new Batman, so of course they’re going to play this differently and go somewhere far from the public streets to fight it out, right?
Hell no. The media campaign for Batman V Superman shows highlights of just how bad the ending of Man of Steel was on street level, with Batman running around in a Jeep Renegade(?) as Superman tears the city down.
We also see Batman try and run-over a super-being called the “Man of Steel” in his Batmobile, which ends up putting the armored Corvette-looking car into some poor sap’s gas station. Also Superman completely totals the Batmobile by ripping off its doors, which probably wasn’t necessary.
We’ve also seen the new Batwing firing rockets into a dark alley full of cars, because apparently Batman has decided he’s going to not worry about killing people anymore.
Then, at the end of the latest trailer, we get a glimpse of Wonder Woman and Doomsday completely level a part of a city with a huge explosion, which doesn’t bode well for its occupants.
But hey, Bruce Wayne apparently drives a goddamn black Aston Martin DB Mk III, so all can be forgiven—just as long as it survives the movie.
Now, the latest trailer for Captain America: Civil War:
As previously reported, the very first Marvel film Iron Man caused over $5 million in vehicular collateral. Ever since the Marvel Cinematic Universe has only grown into a machine that churns out hyper-destructive super hero battlegrounds.
The most notable Marvel films for carnage beyond the first Iron Man would have to be the first Avengers, where practically every car on every street of Manhattan was crushed under a wave of alien invaders and superheroes fighting over Earth, Captain America: Winter Soldier which saw S.H.I.E.L.D. boss Nick Fury narrowly escape death through an absolutely amazing, but collaterally devastating car chase in the streets of D.C., and finally the Avengers sequel, which saw the villainous A.I. robot Ultron lift an entire town of the ground, which subsequently plummeted back down causing unprecedented destruction.
In the media campaign for the upcoming Civil War film we again see our superheroes’ destructive pasts catching up to them. For this movie, the trailer actually provides figures for just how destructive they’ve been, with the totals coming in at 18.8 billion dollars for the first Avengers, 2.8 billion for the events of Winter Soldier, and a whopping 474 billion for the Avengers sequel. That’s a lot of billions in damage, so how bad will the new film be?
Judging from what we’ve seen advertised, it’s going to be pretty damn bad.
From what we can see it appears we’re in store for some sort of tunnel chase involving Captain America and Black Panther on foot chasing Bucky Barnes on a motorcycle, with the two leaping over moving cars and what looks to be the tunnel eventually collapsing in on itself just as Black Panther catches up to his prey.
Then of course there’s the big face off at the goddamn airport of all places, with team Iron Man charging at team Captain America with all sorts of explosive chaos erupting around them, destroying planes and the tarmac vehicles. We also get a glimpse of a large explosion at some sort of international meeting, which may be a car bomb.
The jury is still out on which new superhero battle epic of the summer will end up as champion of the car carnage, but I sure can’t wait to find out. I have to admit that I’m team Marvel when it comes to these two films, but I’m also looking forward to seeing Affleck’s Batman.
Batman V Superman is up first on March 25th, with Captain America: Civil War going to war May 6th. Which universe do you think will cost the most billions in unbelievable carnage?
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