Hey, Timmy, what the hell is taking so long with that luggage? Lift with your back, you little jerk! Chop chop, we don’t have all day! And watch those golf clubs—I got them on eBay from a guy who knew Lyle Alzado in college. Idiot.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)

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