Here Are The Worst Pieces Of Automotive Merch You’ve Seen

Here Are The Worst Pieces Of Automotive Merch You’ve Seen

From chess sets to coffee pots, here are some of the worst pieces of automotive merchandise out there

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Photo: Jack Taylor / Stringer (Getty Images)

You may like wearing a branded baseball cap to showcase your favorite car brand, or you might have a hankering for a set of McLaren cufflinks. That’s fine.

But, what about the less tasteful automotive accessories? Today, we asked for the worst pieces of automotive merchandise you’ve seen. Here are some of your answers.

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The Corvette Vacuum

The Corvette Vacuum

Gif: Eureka

“The Corvette vacuum sucks.”

The collaboration nobody knew they needed. This Corvette-branded handheld vacuum was offered by electronics firm Eureka.

Suggested by: citricola

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Harley-Davidson Clothing

Harley-Davidson Clothing

An assortment of Harley-Davidson-branded clothing
Photo: Harley-Davidson

“Umm, though it is a motorsickle, the Harley-Davidson clothing line needs to be burned to the ground and eradicated from the universe.”

For some reason, our comments section was flooded with calls to cancel the sale of everything with a Harley logo emblazoned on the front.

Suggested by: dubblewhopperwithcheese

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Subaru Bag Clips

Subaru Bag Clips

A green Subaru Outback SUV
Photo: Subaru USA

“I own a Subaru-branded bag clip. Like the kind of thing you use to keep your potato chips from going stale. I don’t know if it counts as “worst” because there’s nothing objectively bad about it, but it’s definitely one of the most unusual pieces of automotive merch I’ve ever seen.”

Photo evidence of the existence of these handy clips has been hard to track down. But another poster pointed out that keeping your pretzels responsibly and economically fresh and crunchy was a very on-brand move from Subaru.

Suggested by: skuhnphoto

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Anything From Porsche Design

Anything From Porsche Design

A black Porsche Design watch
Photo: Porsche Design

“I may be on my own here but anything from Porsche Design.

“They seem to sell everything and it all looks like overpriced, cheap product that’s trying too hard to be noticed. Stick to cars.”

Porsche Design has tried its hand at clothing, watches, phones and even laptops. But none of those products appeal to this commenter.

Suggested by: elgordo47

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The Pininfarina hard Drive

The Pininfarina hard Drive

A silver and blue SimpleTech hard drive
Photo: SimpleTech

“I know it’s not a car manufacturer per-se, but my wife had one of those Pininfarina designed external hard drives. Pretty shameless if you ask me.”

Nothing says “luxury design” like an ergonomic hard drive.

Suggested by: ffoc02

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Hummer Perfume

Hummer Perfume

A bright yellow box for the Hummer perfume bottle
Photo: Hummer

“Not only is it just truly awful crap. My manager used to douse himself in it when I worked at the Hummer Dealer in the 2000s.

“Offensive products, now for your nose too.”

Why just look like an oversized and ridiculous SUV when you could also smell like one too?

Suggested by: potbellyjoe

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Anything From The Tesla Store

Anything From The Tesla Store

Red shorts with Tesla branding on the back
Photo: Tesla

“Anything from the Tesla store that refers to the Cybertruck or S3XY.

“The actually shirts and hats look quality. However, the Cybertruck ones are all garbage and you’re asking to get some weird questions/actions by wearing the S3Xy branded stuff around.”

Tesla has had some brash product announcements in the past. But anything listing its model lineup in the order Model S, Model 3, Model X and Model Y in this way is a clear miss.

Suggested by: oz4

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The Shelby Coffee Maker

The Shelby Coffee Maker

A coffee maker in the shape of a motorbike helmet
Photo: Global Coffee Inc

“The Shelby coffee maker. Shaped like a motorcycle helmet, because Shelby is so famously a motorcycle tuning company?”

The perfect coffee maker for anyone that wants their morning beverages made fast and loud.

Suggested by: reverenddexter

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Ferrari Chess Set

Ferrari Chess Set

A carbon fiber Ferrari chess set in red and black
Photo: Ferrari Store

“On one had, Ferrari Red looks really nice on some of the unexpected merchandise, like computer monitors. On the other hand, this.”

Possibly the first and last product to combine the speed and excitement of a supercar with a slow and strategic game.

Suggested by: buckus

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The Bugatti Razor

The Bugatti Razor

A Bugatti-branded shaving razor
Photo: Bugatti

“This totally IS the kind of merch we’re talking about. $170 for a heated razor AND it says “Bugatti”? Nah.”

Does someone who can afford a multi-million dollar Bugatti shave their own face, or do they employ someone to do that for them?

Suggested by: notlewishamilton

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