Via satirical site Sniff Petrol: 'For too long BMW has had its own way in selling cars to fucking dreadful human beings,' admitted Merc marketing director Marc Merketing-Direktor. 'The Concept Coupe SUV shows that we too understand how to appeal to customers who are a despicable waste of blood and organs'.


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These people are utter genius:

On the new Bentley Mulsanne hybrid

'At the heart of the system is a conventional 6.75-litre V8,' explained new engine technology manager Miles Pergallon. 'And this is combined with a high pressure system filled with fresh, salty tears harvested from poor people using a range of techniques such as taking away their television or buying a big bucket of KFC meat items and then simply throwing it straight into the bin in front of their pale, pinched little faces. Ha ha haaaaaa.'

Many thanks for the lead.